Welcome to My Ashram of L.O.V.E (everybody say aummmm!) YEs this is the GUru Speaking!

i was alway born a winner!

2011-02-07T06:32:00.001-08:00

its funny you know when you go through life then you reach a certain stage whereby you realize, i was never a loser, i was perfect the way i was!

i'm just saying, when i was young, i always thought that i had to "fit in" into a certain group by following standards set by others.

funny it took me this long to realize the worth and value i have within me

its freedom man...

i have my own standards, i live by my own rules,

i'm sorry i'm not one to speak derogatorily about women cause i respect women, i used to be an asshole, used to make women want me by playing games but now i realized what an asshole i was and i really don't like being that way, i was always a nice guy, born this way and its easy to be like this and i'll never go back to my asshole ways because i am a nice guy, it is who i am and i have embraced it!

i feel that if you are a guy and you like soft music its not gay

i know that i'm brought up and equipped with the right morals and values taht makes me a great guy!

i hate the fact that all these years i have been living beneath my own shadow

a shadow created by the unworthy influences of my so called fellow comrades whome themselves were desperate in their own ways

desperate for attention
desperate to be loved
desperate to be favored

but not me

i always thought you had to be that way in order to be accepted

when i was young i was tall and awkward

but now

its a blessing, that i have many talents and gifts and i am happy and content with my life

cause i live it to the fullest and i really don't care about petty, unscrupulous and basically pathetic stuff

i live for knowledge, i want to fill my brain with useful, essential material that will enable me to be of value to society and possibly the whole world in entirety

my ultimate goal is to start my own enterprise , my own firm, i want to be recognized for my work as a musician

basically live a wholesome life combining the elements of art and science further uniting it with the devotion to God

for me to be this matured, i guess something must have gone right during my lifetime,
and indeed i have learned a lot and i thank whoever who is watching over me for putting the right ingredients in my life to enhance and enrich it =)...

i am one truly blessed dude and i hope in the future i can share this blessing and enhance and encourage other ppl to carry on living

and that is what i love best to see other ppl grow and to encourage them!

therefore i was always born a winner...

the rest of yall can suck it!

things you need to realize

2011-01-25T21:46:00.001-08:00

man i didn't get it at first but yeah... now i know

i'm actually a nice guy... i used to pretend to be a bad ass but nope that just ain't me

i blame women cause they suck... i wanted to be a bad ass so that i could get it with women cause women used to give me a hard time... and i don;t like that.... stupid games for stupid reasons... i don't mind a lil playfulness but seriously grow up lol =)

i honestly felt dumb like chasing after this person and that, my brain just feels empty cause once you get the girl and you are done with her its like "why do i feel so stupid?" "why do i feel like i have not accomplished anything?"

of course genius you spent most of your time chasing women therefore you wasted it on drinks, petrol and lots of other stupid things... dumbass

anyway yeah i'm a great guy with good values, and i don't have to do all these things just to fit in, i don't just let myself go for the sake of a good fuck.... i mean that is really low, like no value, like a friggin dog.... shit i'm human man i have status...

i don't get it... ppl would actually go for training just to pick up a girl its so stupid,

ppl would waste time moping over a girl or guy when they can be doing something better...

life is all about learning la and i have learned that i am not desperate for sex....

i'm desperate to be in the arms of the woman i love and who is in turn in love with me haha

of course i'm not going to get married until i'm 30 but still i don't mind having fun with someone special...

don't get me wrong i do enjoy the company of hot woman but that doesn't mean i have to sleep with everyone of them

i learned that i actually enjoy the company of good friends and family just for the sake of hanging out

can't believe i was that stupid and desperate when i was younger... i blame women, media and other stupid guys which i don't even feel like aligning myself with them....

its gross alll them dude ever talk about are fucking blow jobs and what ever may

its disgusting when you know they actually mean it

for me i just joke about it but i don't mean it at all, i use the fact that sex topic is soo tabboooo and craking one or two jokes for the sake of the joke is ok but i really don't mean half the shit that comes out of my mouth

you could say i'm full of shitt, i won't deny it, but life is interesting in that way when you have a lot of shit to talk about

so eff it, i don't care about score, i don't care how many women i date or nail

all i want to do is make love and be in love with whoever i'm in love in at any particular time and period... if don't have, its fine =) i'm still a happy man =) i have loads of other shit to be happy about =D

to the women who made me work so hard and in the end got nothing out of it, may you be happy(sarcasm), to the men that corrupted my mind, go fuck yourselves... i ain't no bad boy.... and girls if you can't decide if you want a nice guy or a bad boy... here is a suggestion, grow up... let us just be friends(not) =)

to my friends and family that cared... thank you soooo much =)

thank you jess, Jin, atie, jaspal, nisha, hiran, nakki, kuven, woo, boo, subashini, marrianne, my bandmates, roselyn, joe, arwin, sandiya, and ppl who have helped me throughout my hard times =)

NEw years!

2010-12-31T15:26:00.000-08:00

wow, its been a crazy ride this past one year,

i've been hurt due to failed relationships,

i've been overjoyed due to the fact that i have achieved so much in music and in studies, that i have come so far, a long way from who i used to be!

i've grieved for those whom have pasted on

i've been pissed of, pf the way the world has been shaping up around me

but overall, i'm thankful for these such experiences,

why?

well with experience comes knowledge, with knowledge comes gratitude and appreciation, and with that comes integrity and honor!

i've learned a lot this past year, learned to be wise and tactful when needed

learned to be patient and fair

learned to appreciate life the way it is and not be tremendously demanding

learned to seek guidance rather than to presume

and ultimately learned about ones true self and appreciating ones weaknesses and strengths

MOst importantly i had tonnes of FUn, adventure and excitement during 2010, and i'm sure 2011 will be host to a lot more fun, adventure, excitement, experiences and lessons.

and yes to enjoy life with my besties =)

contradictions!

2010-09-10T15:38:00.000-07:00

the tales of jimmy
It tears me up inside that i can't truly follow my dream, which is to be an accomplished musician. i recently read an article about Mike Portnoy leaving Dream Theater, i never knew such a thing would ever happen. No Portnoy, no DT but there was something in this article that got me thinking, when your hearts no longer into something it is very difficult for you to follow through and keep that particular dream alive. It is my believe and understanding that everybody has a right to dream, and if it is within your means, may it be your intelligence, your wits or capital you have a right to follow what you believe in. Obviously, it is a choice you have to make after weighing in the particular pros and cons that align themselves, and from then on having to make a decision understanding the consequences that might hit you in the face if not careful. Clearly i have insight into understanding the risks involved in making decisions and obviously i have my head above the water in order to be thinking deeply about this. If i was living in a "perfect" world i'll already be heading full out on music playing shows, doing events, using the music i play for a better cause, but unfortunately the world is not perfect there is a certain demand that has to be fulfilled and those who are in demand make a living out of life. Basic principle of Economics. When there is a demand, you supply. When there is no demand, and the supply is overflowing the outcome is simple, you don't make money, or in other words you don't make a living. On the other hand, when you don't make a living, or if you are not independent or you don't have the knowledge/ discipline that is in demand you are basically nobody. This corporate world we live in does not respect those who can't contribute in the way that fulfills the demand. I fully grasp and understand the complexity of society and the notion of being of value to society, regardless of the matter i still have my beliefs, and it's very difficult to keep that belief alive when you are being drowned by all these labels and concepts. Control. Watch the movie "Instinct" by Anthony Hopkins and Cuba Gooding Jr, i loved the theme behind it, what i got was that most of us have this illusion of control. We want to be this and that, we want higher position, better pay, your own life etc. We keep chasing these things without realizing that what we have is enough. The Movie labels the whole rigmarole of life as a game. It highlights pleasing other people and doing things out of the way, out of the boundaries of your own beliefs just to achieve something that really is nothing-not to say that it has no value but if you follow the fundamentals of basic needs in life you can live without those things, so why do we put pressure on ourselves? I'm not being idealistic, yes we must move on in life, yes we must strive to be better than what we have accomplished so far but at what cost? Must we sacrifice who we are and our beliefs just for a better pay check, to be respected, to be somebody. That is one concept that i don't seem to understand. I strongly believe that if you know who you are and stay true to that without being blinded by worldly pleasures, you can and will go far-when i say go far meaning a better future, a better pay check, happiness and PEACE. Peace of mind is something i long for.

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights,[72] that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security."

this paragraph is taken from the United States Declaration of Independence

the phrase i want to highlight is "the pursuit of happiness", from what i understand, when one finds happiness one can also find peace of mind.The problem is are we truly happy and content with what we have. All we need to do is just embrace what we have and appreciate what we are as human beings and it would no longer be a pursuit. I believe happiness is within you, all you need to do is value and treasure, appreciate and understand whats important to you. That is something i have come to grasp with and i do understand the whole meaning of it but obviously my understanding is still at a primitive stage and needs more research and development into understanding the wholeness of this theory. I'm not theorist nor a PhD holder yet this has been my life long story and journey of understanding such fundamental rules and subconscious elements that governs the system state and progression of our society.

So i fall back on the core of my blog, sometimes i feel torn up inside that some people just don't seem to understand what I stand for. It is OK when it is just your friends, you can deal with that some people have their opinions, i just respect everybody's right to freedom of speech, i get that, but when is your own family members, it gets to you even if you try not to get involved with it. Yes i respect their personal opinions but a prolonged repetition of their personal opinion over a period of time again everyday really gets irritating and annoying. It is a daily struggle to deal with my parents, and i'm always compromising to what they want me to do. They still make me feel guilty of wasting away SAM, they still make me feel like i made them 20k poorer. i know i have made a huge blunder and i have learned from my mistakes and that is why now i'm really trying to study hard to that i can finish my engineering- i have realized the importance of it and am trying to be matured about it. The fact of the matter has not changed, i still have my passion that burns like a flame that is not willing to die out, i still believe in my dream of becoming a respected and accomplish musician. It is really difficult to deal with it when every time i practice or when i talk about my passion for music, my mom would pass a comment like "what music, it is devilish and hellish" or when my dad goes "stop living in your euphoric world and get back to reality"... i mean it breaks my heart that i can't share my joys with my own parents, i can't even think about saying " wow today was a real great jam session, my bassist came up with a new song and it was good, the drummer came up with some really good rudiments and it came together as one piece at the end"... since 2007 i've been trying to understand why my parents feel a certain way about music and its industry and why it worries them so much- instead of fighting them and going against them, i learned to work with the situation rather than against it, yes i have learned a lot about the industry and i have come to terms with the very reasons of why my parents resent me wasting too much time on music! Yet my passion still burns because of the fact that every time a good song comes together or i nailed the right solo that just nails it for a certain song, that feeling of true happiness resides in my heart and i can only experience that happiness for those few moments which take my breath away and live in those moments for a few milliseconds before it is gone and you can never ever find it again. Over the past years i have been trying to understand and compromise for the sake of my parents, to appreciate them and to understand that they want what is best for me, i get that, i understand that, i appreciate that, but how can i continue this when they don't understand and appreciate me for the way i am. i've tried talking to them and i have sacrificed a lot and i know that what i sacrificed is nothing compared to what they have sacrificed for me to be the whom i am today, but also what i am today is "a student that has a burning desire to make music and share it with the world!" All i ever get from them is; they believe that i will not go anywhere and that i will not have a future and the music is worthless. Ok i understand that it is partially true and that is the reality of things and that is why i have learned to enjoy engineering(seriously though eng is quite fun i can't imagine myself doing anything else except for being a musician) and it is made easier due to the fact that i have great friends to support me. Let's face it every child wants to make his/her parents proud and happy. So all i really want from my parents is the respect and appreciation of who i am as an individual and not the treatment as a kid all the time. How am i going to grow up and be matured if i'm not given the opportunity to be matured and grow up. All i feel everyday is that i'm being choked up for who i am. i know i have the right qualities to be successful and to be somebody in future but the support system is not there. My parents need to understand that i have to make decisions on my own and that i need to follow my own path in life trust me if my mom read this sentence she would say i'm self centered and individualistic with no apparent reasoning, how would that make you feel when you hear that from your own mom. i don't feel the support in what i do, yet alone the security of believing in what i do and that leaves me indecisive and confused all the time. i am always being compared to people who are better than me and if that person screws up in life they'll find another person to compare me with. i get what they want for me, they want me to have better things than what they had, i understand, but for me to get there i need some kind of support and they need to believe in what i do, right? so that i can have a bit of self assurance and confidence. Every time i reach out to my parents for consultation and advise for anything because i know they have more experience in life and their advise is useful but at the end of the day i'm left to feel worse about myself. Some nights i wake up in cold sweat feeling helpless, i'll have nightmares of being homeless, bare naked and being treated like dog and being pushed around with no money and no where to go for comfort. Honestly it freaks me out to the point of insanity. Unfortunately one motorist had to face the wrath of my frustrations and anger. Seriously though i really don't care if i became the worlds greatest musician or i got to tour around the world, it would be exciting but it's not important. Another thing that i despise is this never ending excuse of not having money. Every time i go to my parents for financial help, and especially from my dad, i always get the excuse of no money. Every time something goes wrong with the car, something breaks or if i over spend because i needed to buy supplies-cut my hair, deodorant, gym, writing pads, printing quotas etc i would worry my butt of trying to explain things to my dad. Honestly RM200 a week and only 200 nothing more nothing less is very hard to manage if you include everything from food to jamming to basic necessities like toiletries etc parking and petrol. By the end of the week i barely have enough to enjoy my weekends. i hardly go out, most of the time i'm at home because i have no money for petrol or if i have the cash i'm thinking of saving it for next week in case i got extra hours for jamming or pay for recording or if i'm staying back in uni to study extra hours-think about it i'm a 21 year old who hardly goes out for parties, clubbing etc but that is really not important i have priorities so it doesn't matter but for pete's sake i can't be at home 247 like a caged animal that is why once in awhile when i do go out i really appreciate the presence of my friends- i just want to enjoy that particular time and moment with my friends. And i'm tired of owing my friends, every time i don't have enough to cover for something, i have to turn to my friends and honestly i feel embarrassed and shameful for always having to ask my friends to cover for me. i feel like a total ass because i am quite capable of making my own cash but i don't have the opportunity to do so, trust me it is not easy to work, study and be in a band all at the same time, it's not easy to even work and study at the same time because Eng take 3 quarters of your time and at the end of the day you just can't be bothered to do anything else. Trust me if i could earn 10 to 15 ringgit an hour and work part time i'll definitely do it to lesson the burden, but heck i'm not going to work 5 bucks an hour and at the end of the day you have earned pitons and the fact that you will not have any time to study, it is not worth the effort and it is a waste of time. i have realized all of these things and i know the importance of having valued knowledge, i've had the help of certain friends and family members that believed in me and pushed me on, even in death. i am a better person today than i was 3 to 4 years back, i believe in it but unfortunately the people that matter to me the most don't and it is hard to live with that. Honestly i have realized after months of questioning myself and seeking counsel from counselors and psychologist that i have an attention seeking complex because i lack the attention from home, therefore i seek the attention outside my home. That is why i am the way i am. It is not a bad thing, there is nothing wrong with me, it is just a basic human flaw, the need to be loved and to know that you are loved. Yes although i may not look the part(cause most of the time i'm always laughing and joking) i do feel that sometimes i am alone and i do feel lonely cause it is hard to talk to people about this, because the only person that truly understands your situation is you, yourself. The only person that can fix your problems is you, yourself. You have to be the miracle in your life by keeping strong, being positive and keeping true to your faith;easier said then done... Honestly i don't quite like the attention i get at times, i even feel annoyed. Sometimes i try to be nice about it but sometimes i'm a bit rude and i feel bad about it. The point is you just got to be matured and move on. So when i feel like i'm alone in this world, i draw my inspiration and courage from other people's sufferings, i know it sounds bad but there are other people out there going through greater hardships than mine and that is what fuels my passion for music to give these people a voice. So as long as i'm in a position to make money and make music i want to try to do something useful with my talents. Yes i have aspirations of being successful-ceo of a MNC, drive BMW but most importantly i want to make money and/or make music to help others. This is something my parents don't get. They can't see the greater picture of what i want to do with my life's work and believe me its frustrating at times. If only my parents could just see through the fog and at the very least try to understand who i am, but unfortunately that is not the case, and it is really difficult to focus on my works and studies; all i'm saying is that things could be easier if dealt with but unfortunately things aren't easy in life and yes focusing is difficult but not impossible and i have not given up but i'm tired of performing this balancing act.

Don't get me wrong, i'm not complaining. I'm aware of my predicament and i embrace it. i don't want to fight against the situation but rather work at it because it is the right and matured thing to do. But having to pull off this balancing act all the time is weighing me down and i'm becoming worn out by this act of balancing between music, my parents, life as a young adult, Eng and money. I know money has value but its priceless compared to family,friends, loves ones and knowing who you are. What is money compared to all these things, nothing. What is money without family, friends, loved ones? what is money without a home? what is money without knowing where you came from, your roots, your origins, knowing who you truly are at heart? What is the value of money compared to all these things. Absolutely Nothing. For me, friends and family and knowing who you are, are way more important things in your life compared to money. I just enjoy the thrill in making money, then after that using that money for good causes. Yes i dream of driving a BMW and living in a house with a swimming pool, but that is not important. What truly is important is that i get to that point in my life knowing who i am and what i am, still having my family and friends around- and if i don't, so what, as long as i'm comfortable, as long as in the distant future my wife and kids are happy comfortable and secure!
All i want is for my family and friends to appreciate me and respect me for who i am especially my parents for obvious reasons, and just to achieve my goals and dreams with the help of a strong support system that comes from the core unit of my life which is my family- most importantly my parents, if that is not love, what is man?

i close with lyrics from a meaningful song that basically sums this up!

Come stop your crying
It will be all right
Just take my hand Hold it tight

I will protect you
from all around you
I will be here
Don't you cry

For one so small,
you seem so strong
My arms will hold you,
keep you safe and warm
This bond between us
Can't be broken
I will be here
Don't you cry

'Cause you'll be in my heart
Yes, you'll be in my heart
From this day on
Now and forever more

You'll be in my heart
No matter what they say
You'll be here in my heart, always

Why can't they understand
the way we feel
They just don't trust
what they can't explain
I know we're different but,
deep inside us
We're not that different at all

And you'll be in my heart
Yes, you'll be in my heart
From this day on
Now and forever more

Don't listen to them
'Cause what do they know
We need each other,
to have, to hold
They'll see in time
I know

When destiny calls you
You must be strong
I may not be with you
But you've got to hold on
They'll see in time
I know
We'll show them together

'Cause you'll be in my heart
Yes, you'll be in my heart
From this day on,
Now and forever more

Oh, you'll be in my heart
No matter what they say
You'll be in my heart, always
Always

this song represents everything i want to say to my family and friends, it is my promise to God, yeah but i'm only human!
i'm just a simple guy at heart!

WOW! WHAT A YEAR! 2010 awesome!

2010-03-20T20:09:00.000-07:00

man its been great praise God haha! my birthday was awesome! it was a rock show with lewis pragasam and his band performing, it was a night to remember, and artista has been such blast to play at haha, just got into monash engineering, a lil hectic but i'll get used to it, join the MONASH CF hope to contribute some awesome materials to them, i pray i can be productive, was recently elected as the Monash Music Club President! wow its been quite a journey, and the best thing so far that happened this year was A RUTHLESS CLEANSING, I'M PROUD OF MY BROS BEST EVER BAND AND EXPERIENCE SO FAR FROM THESE BUNCH OF MONKEYS haaha yesterday had an awesome show @ ANGKATAN KERAMAT DURJANA FESTIVAL, ITS WAS AMAZING THE CROWD WAS WILD, INTENSE AND INSANE despite technical difficulties the show was mind blasting! so yeah its been pretty awesome so far, hope for a great year ahead aite chowzy!

tears!

2010-02-04T09:08:00.000-08:00

why do i still cry myself to sleep?

-

2010-01-14T09:56:00.001-08:00

ps i wasn't in need!

yet another emo story!

2010-01-14T09:23:00.000-08:00

so many have come...

yet i only think of one...

why is it so difficult to move on...

is this what love feels...

pain, heartache, happyness, joy, anger, disappointment....

i want to..

i really do..

but there one problem

i want you...

but still...

knowing fact that i know you will never ever see me the way i see you...

i still want you...

there is no other who can replace you...

or what you did for me...

without realising how it saved me...

problem is you will never know the measure of how much you seved my life...

thoughts of you kept me alive...

thoughts of you kept me holding on...

i was willing to let go...

secondhand serenade -fall 4 you says it all...

my story and your summarized in one!...

why do i think of you even tho i should move on!

why does it feel so depressing yet it still feels like i have a goal...

i try not to read your life!

i try not follow you!

but i'm helpless to the way i feel

i'm not strong enough to fight these feelings and emotion!

it is about the way you make me feel

it is about the way i think of you

i wanna let go but no strenght!...

i'll have to push!

i wish i wasn;t a pussy...

i wish i had said what i wanted to say a long itme before...

i wish i was there...

there is only one hope left!

there is only one who truly knows...

GOD! my last chance!

i pray that you be happy
i pray that you be safe
i pray that you be taken care of
i pray that he'll be there
i pray that i will move on
i pray that i will forget
i pray that this wound will heal
i pray that i will go
i pray that you'll be loved the way you should be
arrogant as it maybe, i think only i have the key!
i'm sorry with all y heart for these my sins!

but if there was a chance! with arms wide open...

i will move on
i must
i'll try
will do!

funny thing is i still miss you!

some shit in d minor!

2010-01-03T11:38:00.001-08:00

untitled!

2009-12-31T00:43:00.001-08:00

1.Do you need him/her to be good looking?
kinda

2. Smart?
yeah i don't want to talk to someone i can't carry an intelligent conversation with!

3. Preferred age?
1 or 2 years older also i don't mind but that's the limit

4. Preferred height?
don't really have a preferred height

5. How about sense of humor?
of course that is waht i find really sexy if she doesn't mind being the joke or jusr being lame and crazy lol!

6. How about piercings?
haha i really don't mind but not those crazy ones where there is a piercing everywhere i don;t want to be walking around a clanging piece of metal

7. Accepts you for who you are?
of course, then how to love if she likes me for my cash or wtv! lol

8. Pink hair?
what hell no!

9. Mushy or no?
there is an appropriate time for everything if she is going to mushy all the time whoa hell no i'm outta here!

10. Thin or fat?
curved in te right places! hehe! =D

11. Black, Brown or White (skin color)?
don't mind!

12. Long hair or short hair?
i love long hair but if she looks extremely amazing with short hair that also i don;t mind lol
!

13. Plastic or metal?
uuhhh none

14. Smells good?
of course i won't be dating a pig!

15. Smoker?
nah its a turn off for me!

16. Drinker?
haha if she can drink good la but i don't like too wild and crazy then i'll be left to take ccare of her all the time what kind of relationship is that!

17. Girl/Boy-next-door type?
no

18. Musically inclined?
oh god i'd die for someone like that, obviously yes!

19. Plays piano?
wow she plays the piano =sexy baby

20. Plays bass and/or acoustic guitar?
if she is better than me in guitar my ego would be bruised badly but i don't mind! lol

21. Plays violin?
i sued to play violin so i don;t mind a gain!

22. Sings very good?
if she can sing thats blessing

23. Vain?
a lilttle bit i don't mind!.

24. With glasses?
kinky lol!

25. With braces?
the braces come off so i don't mind again! then she'll have abeautiful smile and great teeth!

26. Shy type?
yes and no. shy types are cute and all, but that gets kinda boring when they're not outgoing. those of you who know me well enough know how crazy i can get at times.

27. Rebel or good boy/girl?
abit of both

28. Active or passive?
a bit of both

29. Tight or bomb?
nuclear blast!

30. Singer or dancer?
BOTH LOL BOTH!

31. stunner?
YEAH! SHE HAS TO BE A STUNNER I'M NOT JUST GOING TO DATE ANYONE LOL!

32. Hiphop?
yeah hip hop is music too so it wouldn't be a problem

33. Earrings?
a few!

34. Mr/Ms. count-my-ex-girlfriends-until-you-drop?
1 or 2 when it gets to 5 to 20 dang some thing is wrong with the girl! i like a woman who knows what she wants!

35. Dimples?
kkeeeeeeuuuuuuuttttttteeee!

36. Bookworm?
well if she is smart good but booworm giler kau kau alar lazy la we will be spending most of our time in the library and thats boring cause i'm active!

37. Mr/Ms. love letter?
love letter are lame! but if done properly its sweet!

38. Playful?
YES PLZ

39. Flirt?
well if we are together, and she flirt with me and only me i don;t mind but if we are together and she flirts with other guys is not that i'm controlling but isn;t that kinda fucked up ! heel no i'm otta there

40. Poem writer?
excellent!

41. Serious?
depends on the time!

42. Campus crush?
this is so high school musical!

43. Painter?
haha it would be fun lol!

44. Religious?
if she could be my angel that saves me everyday from the devil well that be a major turn on lol!

45. Someone who likes to tease people?
i'm a tease, so if she could step out of her shell and tease me back that''l be cool lol so yeah i kinda like girls who have good comebacks lol!

46. Computer games geek? Or internet freak?
if internet freak, hell no but if she could use the net and play a couple of games haha it'll be fun! lol

47. Speaks 20 languages?
hahaha yeah if she could good lol!

48. Loyal or faithful?
she has to be loyal and faithful !

49. good kisser
hahaha! what do you think!

50. loves children??
omg YES. like duh!

2009-12-31T00:42:00.001-08:00

Hi everyone!

robind here!

First, I wanna say thanks to everyone who's supported us on this ride- those of you who've come to our few shows and made us feel like bonafide rockstars. We can't thank you enough.

Anyway, I'm here to announce a new chapter for the band. James and Long, two of our founding members, are leaving the band to continue their studies overseas. These two amazing individuals have been in this band from the start nearly 3 years ago- they have been with us up till this year, the beginning of our ascent.

Matt, Faliq, and myself have concurred that this band is not The Council of One without their hard rock influence, and cannot in good conscience continue using this name. So, we're rebranding.

With our new members, Jif on bass and James Robind on guitar, we are A Ruthless Cleansing. The Council of One, stripped of the former hard rock influence, but still retaining the intensity and emphasis on melody as before to create epic sounding metal.

Do continue supporting us by adding our Page at http://www.facebook.com/pages/A-Ruthless-Cleansing/194102869992.

It's the Dawn of The Morning Son.

ps from Robind : pls do support us visit our page and click "become a fan"
i would love to see friends in the mosh pits
sorry i not computer savvy not quite sure how to send to many on fb so i just tag la then you guys pass the word around la! thx!

http://www.myspace.com/thecouncilofone

In 2009, a band called The Council of One played their first actual gig at Rock Genesis, turning down an opportunity to play at Monash Uni's Street Carnival.

Throughout the year the band played intermittent shows while hashing out a punishing, passionate, and wholly melodic sound and live performance. Combing the best of metal and hard rock, the sky seemed the limit after a tremendous show at Malaysian Today's SyokShock night.

With the departure of two founding members, Long and James, The Council of One regrouped to find they were no longer the same band. Recruiting Rajif and also James Robind, ex-Reign of Fire, The Council of One was reborn as A Ruthless Cleansing, a behemoth of monstrous riffs and anthemic choruses, ready to take on their next audience.

Blending the very best of old school and new school metal, A Ruthless Cleansing draws inspiration from artists as diverse as Suicide Silence to Dream Theatre, from Pantera to Underoath while creating a wholly unique sound completely their own.

With a concept album called 'Morning Son' in the works, A Ruthless Cleansing's coming year can be summed up with a lyric from their song 'Anarchist Manifesto'- "Our time is now."

evol

2009-12-31T00:38:00.000-08:00

love is voluntary you can never dictate whose one to love!

i have reached nirwana!

the pain

2009-11-01T04:23:00.000-08:00

i never realised it was gonna be hard choosing

i have everything, but i feel like nothing

my strength has been demolished

my tears depleted

i have nothing to gain nor lose

my soul is all dried up

music brings nothing to my ear

a song feels like a dead note

been haunted by the fears of my life

marauding the nights like hungry bastards

ready to rape the unsuspecting woman

this pain cuts deep

it cleaves my gut wide open

it drills the hole into my heart

i wanna be free again

i wanna be whole!

2009-10-26T06:51:00.000-07:00

the tales of jimmy rob rob

a home!

2009-10-26T06:24:00.000-07:00

a home should be a place where you find peace and joy and comfort and laughter and tranquility and....

but not in my home, it is always bringing hatered, anger, pain , and sorrow and....

i am so scared i really am of these questions inside my head

i'm afraid to face them....

how can i be whole when i'm torn up inside....

i just wanna be free man like the butterfly

i just wanna be me...

ihave goodness and grace and kindness and patience and love but why is it so difficult to show it at home!

where else can i go?

i have no place else!

i can be the richest guy, the most powerful man, the greatest musician.....

but it all comes to nothing with no one to share it with.....

it all comes to nothing if i don't acknowledge where i come from...

i could do all these things by myself....

but it would be a lil more better if i could share it with someone...

i'm not talking bout a girlfriend but a friend!

someone i can really truly trust and honour and know that he/she won't well won't....

instead of being "look up to" i would wanna come back home and look up to someone

i wanna befrail nimble and weak around that person

but when i'm with that person they make me feel strong and mighty like i could conquer the world

i'm sick and tired of games

i'm sick and tired of lies

i'm sick and tired of stupid things that are meaningless

i just wanna feel whole again!

pain!

2009-10-24T00:59:00.000-07:00

have you ever felt pain so painful that you been trying to get away from it! for all my life i been running away from this pain... the pain that is in my life today is my dad all i ever really wanted was to make him proud but today he dissapointed me

he made my mom cry he made her shed tears of pain and sorrow that just tore me apart i've been living through this for the past 21 years

today i just couldn't bare see my mom in pain and cry so with all anrger i stood up and marched towards my dad to protect my mom, and he came towards me and pushed me i couldn't help myself so my fist just darted straight for his face luckily my cousin was in the house so he grabbed it before it landed on his face

all my life i have been brought up to think thst i was useless and worthless but today i stood up for my rights

even though it was painful for me to fight my own flesh and blood i had to do it because 20 years of pain and heart ache just came out bursting in rage

for 20 years i saw my mother being abused

for 20 years i saw how he degraded me in making me feel so small and stupid

for 20 years the results i brought home weren't good enough

for 20 years i had to live with knowing that i could never be good enough for him

but today i stood up

i saw a butterfly lift of from a tree leaf and i told myself one day i will be that butterfly

one day i will spread my wings and fky

i am not worthless i deserve my happiness

i deserved to be loved

one day i will be on top of that tower of knowledge and i will be successful

i have the right stuff to be a leading man in this world

i have been blessed with the right gifts and potential to do achieve great things

i thank GOd for my ever loving mother and her constant love

but seeing her cry today, well she doesn't deserved this she of all ppl deserved to be happy

i am going to make her proud and i'm going to make my grandad up in heaven proud enough is enough!

YOU SHALL NOT REDICULE ME AND BRING ME DOWN TO A LEVEL THAT MAKES ME FEEL THAT I AM STUPID CAUSE I AM NOT

I'M A KIND HEARTED SOUL WITH LOVE IN MY HEART

AND MY DEMONS HALL BE REMOVED

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH

THIS IS MY PROMISE I WILL TAKE CARE OF THE PPL I LOVE I DON;T NEED YOU TO TELL ME SHIT

BE CAUSE I KNOW WHAT I AM WORTH

I PRAY THAT GOD FORGIVES ME FOR WHAT I DID! I SHALL BE ON THAT TOWER ONE DAY

accident!

2009-10-06T08:59:00.000-07:00

accident happened my template got deleted cause i was trying to change template nvm nvm all is not lost i shall fix it after exams lol

2009-10-06T08:00:00.000-07:00

couldn't find the malay version on my playlist so posted it la! lol

self realization

2009-10-06T05:49:00.000-07:00

haha i was caught up wandering in my myriad mind again, realising this hole in my soul that it bleeds for attention it bleeds for love, man the reviews i got from me mates especially from my teachers and my committee about what i am today... wow it simply astounds me...to the point where i ask myself do it deserve this... when i am at home i'm simply like a dead dog limpering in a bloody pool of destructive emotions... within the 4 walls of my home it is a totally different world for me, within the four walls of my room i'm seriously nothing i'm the equivalent of nothing-ness, and it makes me sad, what my friends see is totally different from what i feel about myself.

the review i got was

intimidating at first but warm and kind in the end

looks like a bad boy on the outside but sweet and romantic on the inside

a good friend who encourages and helps when it is needed or even when its not

a responsible student

a high energy that brings other ppl up at the same time

a talented young boy with the potential to do great things

always cares about others before caring about himself

loud with a good effectiveness

funny and crazy , can make you laugh on a bad day

extremely tall but gracefull

shows arrogance but on the inside soft mellow

these are the few reviews i got and i'm like this is not how i feel about myself

at home i'm pathetically sad cause when i talk to my parents about my problems they think i'm rebelling or being idealistic or impresionable, i feel about certain things in a different way that doesn't go along with the way they feel about it and the worst part is that they are not willing to listen, don't t take it wrongly i love them to bits but you know i can't be the person they want me to be, i liike trying new things, i like being adventurous, i like fooling around and teasing ppl just for the heck of it, you know just to make life a bit more interesting, you can;t always look at life seriously, you take it seriously but you know once in a while its good to just sit back and enjoy the ride... sometimes i feel like i have everything in the world ppl say only child means being spoiled but heck i feel like nothing, i have everything in the world but i feel like nothing.

its no wonder i'm emo at times, emo with tears thats ok but emo without, there is a problem...

then i think, maybe that's y i did what i did in 2007 i was lost i mean really i was a good student, all ways A'S doing well and then suddenly a change like i just fell down and couldn't get back up, and when ppl tried to help me i pushed them away

my teachers say that they are proud of me, they like my attitude in class always willing to say yes and to try even if it is hard, well thats me now , i don't quite like giving up! its no wonder i couldn't deal with relationships, its no wonder i didn't really care about other ppl except for my self,

all i really want is for my parents to say we are proud of you no matter what happens and that we love you... thats y i feel so empty! its like i'm always there to listen to my mom when she has something to say about well her sister or friend or ppl in church or her husband but when i want to talk about something which i like and interested in, she doesn't even listen she just brushes it off and "me being young and naive" well if that is the case gimme some advise on how to deal with it... know what i'm saying! i always try to think on their level, i mean generation gap is huge but well at my age they have to atleast try to see how things would apply to a 20 year old in this day in age....they always say that we are your parents, we are older, we have gone through maore thing than you we know what is best, well that would apply if i was 14 or 15 or even 18 but heck i'm =~ 21 the stuff i face today is probably same at core but at a whole new different level, stuff you apply 30 years ago would be obsolete today... get what i mean!

i mean i know that they are proud but sometimes you want the ppl you love to say it and mean it, it makes you feel loved and it makes you feel that you have a purpose in life....

right now i'm just doing whatever i can to acheive my goals and make them proud! but in the next 2 months i'm 21 that means i'm an adult my parents will have to let go, and they can't be treating me like a kid anymore..

when i'm 21, it means i'm starting my life on my own, all i want from them is support i just want them to be proud of me no matter what happens no matter what choices i make... obvisouly i'm going to go to them for advise, but its up to me now to make the decisions, i want to be independant and i want to go my own way, it is not that i want to ditch them and rebel or be a bad son but for me to reach my goals i gotta get out of my comfort zone and explore things outside that zone,

in other words i still don't know who i am amd i want to find myself
i read once in a good friends blog, that "how can you love others when you don't love yourself"

my addition to that phares is that -how can you love yourself when you don't feel loved and hence how can you love others when you don't love yourself-

hence the void in my soul that has been trying to fill up with music and sadness and fame and sorrow and money and pain

i just wanna be free, i know i'm just a simple guy, who loves the simple joys in life
i just wanna be me!

ways to quit

2009-09-22T01:53:00.000-07:00

people say its so damn difficult to quit and its impossible

honestly it is difficult but not impossible!

this is how you do it!

1) make that step to proclaim that you want to quit

tell ppl you know that you really wanna stop and you are sick of the habit, make them

know its not a phase and you need help!

2) tell yourself you wanna quit

write it down in your personal space, your laptop (make it your screen saver), your

blog, diary, journal, on your studying desk, carry a note in your wallet/purse saying

that you wanna stop! over a certain period maybe 6 months to a year

3) give yourself a reason to quit

i wanna quit because...... i love my dog.... i love my car... i love my life.... i love

my mom/dad.... i love my girlfreind...i'm in love with someone...i wanna climb mount

everest before 50, i wanna make love to the woman of my dreams before i'm 30

now YOU DON'T JUST QUIT TO IMPRESS SOMEONE, YOU QUIT CAUSE YOU WANNA DO IT FOR YOURSELF

AND THAT IN THE PROCESS QUITTING ACTUALLY HELPS YOU TO UP YOUR CHANCES WITH SOMEONE...

TRUST ME 90% OF WOMEN LIKE THEIR MEN TO BE NON SMOKERS, SMOKING IS A TURN OFF FOR MEN

ABOUT 75% HATE WOMEN WHO SMOKE

4) change your lifestyle

take that first step into changing your lifestyle, stop being negative about yourself,

and go out and do productive stuff, watch a movie, get involved in projects like mural

painting, dancing stuff like that, that will enable you to meet new ppl and mostly

active ppl don't really smoke and people who are involved in these activities, have a

life, they are disciplined and they have a sense of direction of who they want to

become, these are the sort of ppl that you wanna be hanging around with in order to help

you gain direction and focus, in other words gain a life! -honestly smokers are losers

trust me i was one of them-

5) change your mentality

changing your metality is related to changing your lifestyle, start thinking

differently about yourself, start excepting that you have problems and other ppl have

problem too, but smoking is not the way out of your problems, it creates more problems!

find a way to deal with those problems in a healthy way, rock climbing, counselling,

football, futsal, gym, talking to ppl about your problems, avoid succuming to peer

pressure, go to a professional for help....because you are not the only one in this

world having problem, what makes you a matured person is not how many problems you have

faced but how you dealt with them accordingly!

6) act on it

act on your decision, it may seem to be an uphill struggle but once you near the top it

will be a piece of cake, stop buying packets, have buddy system... two ppl who wanna

stop, share a packet! it can go up to 5 ppl sharing one packet or find a shop where they

sell only one stick for like 80 sen lol aka mac center! saying that you wanna stop is

one thing but acting on it is another! trust me guys proving to a girl tht you can quit

is such a turn on cause it proves that you can be committed to a certain goal! ladies

find that sexy! and vice versa

7) restrict yourself and monitor habits

restrict yourself from going to places where ppl normally smoke like mac center lol,

clubs, bar, open air smoking areas, places like these can be really tempting! stop

hanging out late at night because in the name of "chilling", you will allow yourself to

smoke, like i said its all about your lifestyle, by now you must start considering

yourself to be a non smoker, and ask yourself what would a non smoker do when there are

ppl smoking? and if you really can't stop yourself from having a fag, fag la then no

point pushing yourself too hard until you push yourself into a relapse, but monitor,

make sure its one or two fags, say your daily intake is about 7 put a limit for the next

week like for instance, next week i'll take 5 to 6 a day then stay true to it la

8) when in doubt try again

this is simple, when you still have doubts try the steps above again until you are

pretty sure that you are cutting down

9) stop lying to yourself you are still addicted

some ppl like me try to deny that we're still addicted, thats when you gotta take two steps back

to reasses your stituation and plan a solid strategy to follow the steps above and to make sure

that this time you plan your work and work your plan

10) make progress

by ths stage you are making progress, now probably you are down to like 2 fags a week, in fact

it is so crazy that the new friends you make by this time will go " WAH YOU SMOKE AR, I DIDN'T

KNOW YOU SMOKE", THATS ACTUALLY A GOOD SIGN that proves that your lifestyle is sorta like changing

and now you probably have a life! continue to do what you are doing and in the end your life

style won't permit you to smoke

11) results

you already stopped and seriously now you have so much to live for in your life that you really

don't want to jeopardise what you already have and you really want to appreciate the things you

do have and because of that fact you ain't gonna touch that damn fag, even if you do, you won't be

addicted, cause you will have the ability and the power to say TAK NAK!

honestly right the 11 steps up here right all a bunch of bs, cause if you wanna stop, its up to you to make it happen, nobody is gonna stop it for you, its about leading your own life rather than life leading you, you have problems face them, you have friends who are a bad influence well get rid of them don't hang out with them, Quitting is just as contagious as starting so if you start your friends might follow, and to the guys what on earth makes you think that smoking is sexy omg its a big turn off la, cause your breath is smelly, you will smell your teeth will be yellow and your gums will be black, yuck if i was gay that would be disgusting, some of you guys tell me that "i love the way my girlfriend smells", well don;t you think that at times your girl might also want to like the way you smell when you bath shave and not smoke and probably use a really good cologne!

honestly i don't care what you think la comment all you want la because today i know my health is better i got the blood test to prove it, my sleeping habits and eating habits have improved, grades have improved, my stamina and enrgy levels in class is always high! my confidence is back again! And another thing, i had friends who really didn't judge and stood by me believing in me that i would stop this habit, those are the friends you wanna keep around cause they would really help when times of trouble!band i hate it when ppl go "YOU SMOKE AR, HAIYO TERRIBLE LA YOU, SAY QUIT BUT YOU STILL DO IT" some ppl do it with genuine concern but some just do it with sarcasm and slander, seriously, the best thing to do is keep quiet cause you might be addicted to porn, drugs, alcohol, sex, spying on your neighbours 12 year old daughter, coffee, masturbation, weed, orgies, love, all sorts of addiction, well the best is to not judge and to just shut up and be supportive! being difficult to a friend/brother/sister/father/mother/etc ain't gonna make them feel better about themselves, instead you should just love, nurture and encourage them to be better, that would definitely help in changing the world! in fact, those who know they are loved and feel that love are different from those who just drift along with the tide!

if you really read this then take the opportunity to go to a friend/mother /father... and just say man "dude i love you bro, no matter what happens you still my bro, now i really think that you need to get down to this problem of yours, let me help you" if your freind rejects you, well its not that he is rejecting you, he just really doesn't know how to say thank you, and he is not used to the fact that other ppl are caring for him, so just stick around and be patient!

2009-09-20T17:01:00.000-07:00

weird ass dream!

2009-09-20T16:53:00.000-07:00

i just woke up about 7 to 8 times today! and when i woke up i had a sense of losing ones purpose, it was scary, imagine life without purpose! on one hand there will be no wars la but on the other, people will be walking around like zombies doing nothing! its kinda scary when you lose your purpose, cause it defines you! it makes you know that you exist adn it makes you know who you are! i know without my purpose i wouldn't be the person that i am today!

its right there!

2009-09-20T05:30:00.000-07:00

ok! i might have been wrong ok ok definitely wrong! if you are under stress and i say tremendous amounts! well go to what comforts you! well in the previous blog i said i had 3 fags to clear my thoughts... ok that was a mistake and not an honest one i deliberately did it, and well i just thought was a stupid hypocrite i am, yes yes i have stopped smoking! i should stay true to it and not give myself any excuse non so ever to smoke -football was a great help- so yeah i was reading psalms 23 then i thought of psalm 121 and i was YES THATS IT! whenever in doubt just go to God and search for answers within yourself so yeah smoking still remains not part of my lifestyle, guys it seriously bad and it doesn't help when it comes to macking on chicks! trust me i know! Todays's sunday message was great! i kinda caught a meaningful line, "those who are loved and feel loved are different" it applied directly to my life! haha! Well this is what i'll do.... i'll post ways and methods i used to stop smoking! seriously its all in the mind! if you can control it i gurantee that you'll be able to change your life! -peace out-

man the weekend was crazy!

2009-09-13T06:24:00.000-07:00

wow! this weekend was pretty crazy, a ride to remember! started friday me and my buddies just finish a physics assigment and experiment, and we did great so we decided to get ourselves a good lunch! During lunch, my bro asked me to come for a bikini party in asian heritage road, there were gonna be alot of chicks and he had free invites for guys,and he asked me to come, so i thought about it and i said NO! lol imagine this, drunk white gals ok drunk rich white gals and well there are others too but mostly white chicks all in bikinies i mean tities everywhere and i said NO! i gave the excuse that i had to give my parents a ride to church, which i did actually! - but anyway later that night after dinner at itallianies- i was there for a friend's birthday gathering, obviously i was the entertainment of the night, entertaining not only our table but everybody around lol, it was a pretty good night!

and so it was time to leave, while driving on the nep going towards the federal highway, my car suddenly died! and the traffic was pretty heavy so it was a bit nerve whrecking, time was apprx. 9.30 at night! lol and the best part, my car stalled at the slope of a fly over going up! honestly it was pretty scary! like cars were just hooting at me and there were some idiots speeding so i was worried they would crash into me lol! then i jumped into action, i locked up my car, and left it there! ran all the way to a couple of shops down the road, there i aquired a handphone, cause mine didn;t have credit, lol i haven't had cradit in a long time cause i've been paying for my recordings! so there i was in a chineese restaurant and the shop owner was kind enough to lend me his phone! i called my mom, dad, cous, jess, and lastly saab! so i was waiting there about two hours cause by the time i called saab it was 10.30 and by the time the tow truck came it was about 11.00 so we waited by the side off the road cause i needed my parents permission to tow the car, obviously that was the only option, the matter of the objective was to convince my dad that that was the only option, so somehow this insurance runner guy was there and he did the talking for me and got my dad to settle for it

i swear saab was a great help all the way from jelutong man he came, that is what you call a bro man lol! so followed the truck all the way to the workshop and he sent me home! now before all this at the time i was sending my parents to church i was involved in an accident

really small accident where i was on the main road and this dude didn't see the stop sign and he just drove across and i managed to break in time but nipped him slighlty in the right corner of his car, his car just suffered a huge dent but my car the whole front was damaged, luckily the lights were still ok! at first i was a bit angry but a sudden calming effect took over me my dad got out and was pretty angry and the kid but all i did was just look! the kid admitted it was his fault but that really didn;t matter to me, then i saw his mom come out and i wished the aunty well! all i really cared about was the fact that everybody was alright my family wasn't hurt and his mom and he wasn't hurt!

seriously, ppl don't mean for accidents to happen but it happened no point getting angry about it -saab- after coming back from workshop again one hell of a huge argument with my dad, nothing new lol! but yeah this time i didn't react, i didn't fight back lol all i did was that i stayed calm and was patient i handled myself well! wow even my mom was like amazed lol! the next day, saturday my mom came for my parent teacher meeting lol, and she was amazed again, all my teachers even my old one had high praises for me, and my mom was like proud of me lol, for the first time i saw my mom being proud of me lol! the wide smile fuh mission accomplished lol! haha i know she is always proud of me just that i need to give her a reason to show it lol -i don;t mind lol-

after that i had so much on my mind to think so i told my mom that i'll be home late, cause i needed to think and yes fellas i went of to have a smoke!, don't be judgemental yes fellas i smoked 3 cigs!

-to quit smoking is to removed it from your lifestyle- smoking isn't apart of my lifestyle anymore but i need it just to calm my taughts and just to think so i went to paparich and had milo panas and 3 fags and then i was lost in my thoughts!

its amazing what you encounter would actually change your life! things that i have learned from loved ones and life itself had made me a better person today, my mom notices a huge change in me, and yeah even i know that i'm, different, i'm a better person, i feel good, look good, feel healthy, i feel great most of the time now, and wow sometimes i think if i was given a choice between going back into time or to enhance what i have now, i would choose neither cause the right thing to do is to appreciate what you have now and not wish for too many things, and i wouldn;t want to change my history, cause then the outcome would have been different! it would turn out differently, i guess i kinda like the way i am today! i have certain people i need to thank! So yeah THANKS! FOR MAKING ME LIFE SPECIAL MATES! wouldn't have got here without you guys, you know who you are lol!

this is a moment that takes my breath away! a moment of appreciation of how life is beautiful in its own way, even though it has to be a bitch occasionally lol!=P

life!

2009-08-30T20:49:00.000-07:00

man life is such a bitch! it makes you wait when you really want something, its like a game of tug of war

if you want something and truely believe in it, don't just go for it, reach out for it with your soul, reach for it as if it was the last thing you'll ever do in this world!

muslim friends cannot go watch black eyed peas?

2009-08-29T19:58:00.000-07:00

i read this article in nstp, stating that the show is only limited to non muslims, and i'm like what about my muslim friends, i'm not just talking bout my Malay freinds but my african muslim friends or my indian muslim friends or my chineese muslim friends, they also can't go ar? ITs kinda pathetic and vain, rite if my friend comes up to me and say "hey bro record the show for me ar then later i can see la, BEP my fav la but i cannot go la, like so wtf rite! This is not a matter of religion la its a matter of basic human rights! its up to the people to decide if they wanna go for the show! isn't that just democracy at its core, just leave stuff like this to the individual la, it is the person's right to see, watch and learn from whatever he/she wants to learn from. WHy is our state government so shallow, why does mummy have to lock her children in the room all the time? its pathetically ridiculus especially now in this age in time where really the whole world is moving towards a new state in mind where people are becoming colour blind, and yes we learn and protect our religion but that doesn't mean that other people are under the jurisdiction of our own religion! It is time to start being matured and to choose people due to merit and character, capabilities and conduct, interest and desire! We really have to move on la! its time to "do the right thing!(russel peters)" at the least i know i'm following the concept behind one Malaysia standing up for other people beyond my race and religion! haha i did my part, how bout you? lol

the road less taken i took this form my sayang hiran! =P Macha sorry dei but i feel the same way dude!

2009-08-26T03:57:00.000-07:00

Well seems really weird to have a tittle from a poem..never had that..but i just had to..it so goes with what i wana talk about. Things in life often time dont go the way you want it to. Yeah theres the regular screw ups and so on. But to screw up big time? Well those kinda screw ups are like rare and only happen when u expect it to happen.
Well many people asked me. Why on Earth are you so stupid do do your pre u all over again. Dont u have a 2nd choice? The truth is, I was lost. You could say hungover with my recent failures. Thinkin about failures. damnn the feeling you get when someone you knw comes up to you and shakes his/head and goes like i never expected this from you. Those are the kinda words which seeps so deep and it remains for a long period.
The gist of it is that you take forever to bounce out of it. Well the same case for me.. Sam was easy i would say.. But i didnt take the chance or the opportunity to perform to the utmost. I was basicly fuckin around. Well nw in ICpu...I admit at first i regretted doin pre u all over.. NOw ICpu is almost done. Wasnt an easy journey i might add. It was harder than Sam.. way harder. Fuck those people who ever said ICpu is fuckin easy and Sam is hard...in Your fuckin face..Anyway getttin back to the topic, ive learned alot this past 2 years. Its not how much you learn or who you learn it from. But what matters the most is what have u learned and how does tat do good 2 u in anyway. Since small ive been told by my teacher and also parents education is the most important thing to man( woman). But no One did say why is it important...yeah there was the usual ohh if u dont study people wunt respect you and all..
But telling that to someone young and he wouldn't get half the shit ur saying..Trust me ive been there done it.. It took me long to actually realize that education is important. To some it may nt seem so important. but to most average people it remains as an essential part of life. Icpu has made me a man. Ive learned alot and seen it tru people who have experinced much in life. People ask me dont you regret wasting 2 years of ur life.? i would say no.. it has been an experince worth experiencing. i wasnt prepared for engineering before. i dont knw about others or how they perceive it. but for me being an engineer is not just a profession. it is more than that. one needs to be physically, mentally and emotionally ready to even start eng school. now im ready. And someday i shall be who i want to be. Taking the road least traveled by made a huge difference.. !!!

Review: Does race really matter now?

2009-08-10T08:47:00.001-07:00

Review: Does race really matter now?

According to the article, when race didn’t matter, it states that back in the day during the colonization of British race wasn’t a factor in decision making. Back then we were all as one united for one cause that is to be an independent nation. The great racial chasm deepened after the Japanese occupation in1942 this is because of the fact that favouritism was shown towards the Malays and that the Chinese were being rebuked tremendously due to the war between China and Japan. So the key factor is favouritism in this review it will highlight how this form of segregation has destroyed true unity or oneness among Malaysian

It states in the article that until world war 2 , Malays, Chinese and Indians –including the British co existed peacefully. The Japs, did not treat the Malayan Chinese well, in fact harsh treatment and cruelty was shown to them and utter favouritism was shown toward the Malays and Indians. This caused the Chinese people to rebel, Communist rebel forces sprung up from all corners of Malaya and they attacked mainly the Malays and British residents. Newton’s 3rd law with every action there is a reaction so obviously the British and the Malays retaliated.

Then there was anti British sense that aroused due to post war unilateral imposition, this was because of the formation of the Malayan Union, this was strongly opposed by the Malays as their rights were seemed to be taken away and the Rulers were given less power to govern.

Regardless of all these, the key factor of why race matters now is because of non- impartial laws and policies and utter superiority of one major race. Now if we take a look back into the British rule, the British were only here to harvest our natural resources therefore they had no business in uniting the nation in other words they had no social interest, but still there was tolerance and a sense of respect among the people those days, harmony only comes with these 2 attributes, respect and tolerance. Nowadays things are different, a sort of lip service form of respect is given but behind the scenes, and there is no true unity. Back then there was a reason to be united- we wanted independence, but now there seems to be no reason or purpose to be united. Superficial reasons like “a better Malaysia” can’t really be a strong supporting reason for any Malaysian to want a better Malaysia. What is a better Malaysia? A country which practises true democracy, where there are un biased laws and policies, where there is the freedom to choose ones religion, and the true freedom of uncensored speech.

Language was also the reason of the fact that there was more tolerance in the days of our fathers. Everybody had a sense of English, and it is imminently clear especially in the P Ramlee movies of how they would switch between English and Malay wittily. There was a true sense of respect between the coexisting races, but now even in schools each ethnic group would stick to their own kind and one of the reasons of why there is a barrier is because of language

In a nut shell, race actually doesn’t really matter, as long there is long lasting tolerance, respect, hope, impartiality- in all aspects like economically, socially, religion and judiciary

pride!

2009-08-09T23:51:00.000-07:00

i got kicked in the balls really hard today!

and i feel the neeed to let go of some Pride

YES I REGRET SAM I REGRET FAILING IT I REGRET BEING SO IMMATURE!

but the friends that came along the way after that i cherish

uh a huge burden has been lifted

i feel free! IT'S TIME TO GROW!

expand my wings and fly!

my quote of today "you take pride from achievement, but you don't need it to love"

think about it!

2009-08-08T08:20:00.000-07:00

"It isn't possible to love and part...You can transmute love, ignore it, muddle it, but you can never pull it out of you... Love is eternal." E M Forester

queer eye for the new life ahead!

2009-08-08T07:32:00.000-07:00

did you know that this dude is an engineer?

haha my whole perspective of being an engineer has changed, all i did was go for the right talk

i went for this talk about engineering earlier today that was conducted by Melbourne uni officials and it was mind blasting and eye opening!

now i'm really into becoming an engineer not because of the fact that i need a job but the fact that it opens up a new space, a new frontier , a new horizon for me to explore. Its a place where i can fulfill my long desire of knowledge not by reading it from a book but experiencing the problems, possibilities and unknowns in this world

i know it sounds weird coming from me but yeah now there is a reason for me to do what i want to do

so i guess i found it, one part of my life which had so many ? ? ? ? ? but now it seems to have been answered

now that my eyes have been open I THANK GOD FOR IT MAN
i know at times i'm a bit of an annoyance but deep down i'm simple man!

he's a simple regular guy that has too much passion for the things he loves

the most important attributes for an engineer is creativity, imagination and thinking skills

i have 2 out of 3 lol creativity, and imagination, thinking skills not that much

basically 2 parts a fool one part intelligent =P

engineering it all about problem solving, thinking out of the box, and looking beyond the near future

like for instance it still takes us a day to fly from Malaysia to US
it hasn't progressed, so it must mean that there are still some basic fundamental errors in the field itself

honestly engineering is greater than the 4 years degree that we take, when you think about it! what we learn in that 4 years is actually obsolete by the time we actually put our knowledge to work

but the fact is that what we learn is sufficient enough to help us apply the knowledge we have to help society to improve the value of life

its a basic formula, knowledge+ application+ imagination= great success

i would prefer to be in a field where there would be constant active learning, yes in the end everybody needs to read and do their own personal research and study but what more could be more engaging if you could be learning things in a group of enthusiast trying to solve a current problem!

a book will always be there, and the knowledge will always be in the book, you can refer to it anytime of the day but when you can live the "problem" seek answers when you need it and sharpen the skills needed for problem solving, that would be where the money at haha!

dude its crazy man! the things i learned today just "DAMN I'M READY FOR THIS SHIT"

I CAN'T WAIT TO FINISH WHAT I STARTED I HAVE FINALLY FOUND MY OWN WAY!

PRAISE BE TO GOD MAN MY MACHA UP THERE ALWAYS COVERS MY BACK! SOMETIMES I WONDER WHY ITS SO DIFFICULT FOR ME TO DO THE SAME!

today my quote of the day !

"if i were to love i would want to fall into the hands of the one i love and not compromise for any other "

well that person must be strong la cause i'm like 85 kg =P

(OF PURE MUSCLE BABEH =P)

following my life long dream!

2009-08-08T07:05:00.000-07:00

well where can i start haha see this thing here its my guitar, beautiful isn't she yes its a b c rich kerry king sig and its my guitar, isn;t she a beauty! its a blessing that i can have this!

hehe soon this would be the latest addition to my studio ME LOVESSSSSSS!

MY HEART GOOES BOOM WHEN THIS BUGGER GOES JAM! ME EYES BEAM!

AND THIS IS THE CENTER OF ATTRACTION THE MOTHER SHIP OF MY MINI STUDIO ME BEAUTY ME HONEY ME XPS STUDIO WITH ITS SILKY SMOOTH TOUCH! BLACK TOP VIVACIOUS smooth CURVES, ITS SEXY EDGES MAMASITA

EEEE! ME LOVE ME LOVE ME LOVE LOVE LOVE!

it is over the horizon around the corner i can make it!

2009-08-04T10:35:00.001-07:00

Man, i was reading a couple of blogs, the funny thing is i realized that i've been really immature and utterly childish

there is just so many things man, out there greater than me and ppl with more problems greater than me

and i'm like, always stuck in the past man, yeah i still carry with me some old habits which die hard! man its so difficult to stop! i'm really trying my best i have to man, for my future, for my mom, for my future wife and kids! damn i have to stop smoking man i don;t want to be a bad influence to my future kid man!

on top of that i don;t want my mom to grief anymore

i want to be independent, doing things on my own, not really relying on anybody, resourceful and self sufficient

i'm so happy for my life man, i'm so happy that i'm still alive man
everyday now is a blessing from God man

life is fragile, you make a wrong move and you are screwed!

i thank God for my life, my parents, for the experiences He has put in my life so that i can be a better person

i thank God for the greatest gift HE ever gave me man its the gift of Love
i thank God that i'm truly blessed with so many things, i know that at times i am ignorant

I'm just so happy to have what i have now! i'm just happy to be me!

MAn its my last sem, and for some reason it feels like the last months of SAM 2007
Nah, its not going to be like that! I will ACE this pre u with flying colors

Pressure or no pressure
hard or not hard
money or no money
stress or no stress

this will be my final bow! to an old road

and the beginning of a new journey on a different road!

i gotta be more patient and more understanding
i gotta be more calm and collected
i gotta be more sensible
i gotta be more mature
cause in the end i only got myself to blame; if anything goes wrong la hehe!

yeah nothing will go wrong la i'll make sure of it

and to all my friends who i let down man sorry dudes i won;t let you down man
again!

bye world! pray that this final journey would be a memorable one!

Review: 1 Malaysia

2009-08-02T06:04:00.000-07:00

The media has proposed that Sarawak can pioneer the path of a new age in Malaysia, how far is this statement true? In this article, it is stated that an Islamic funeral was given in a Christian home. Have the people of Malaysia really matured that far as to the effect that we are already amalgamated and acculturated to certain customs of our neighbours, that we can accept things like this to take place in our homes. On the other hand is this another move by the government to buy votes?

In this article, it analyses the fact that one daughter of a Christian family, got married to a Muslim, converted her religion then later divorced and apparently did not reconvert back to Christianity, but practised her new faith while living with her parents after the divorce. Soon after she suffered from breast cancer and later past on after a struggle with her disease, so the issue was where the funeral would be held? It took place in the home of her parents, but the funeral adhered to Islamic laws. It is amazing to see such thing happening in Malaysia, whereby two different religions can converge to a point where respect is given to both family rights and religious rights, but can this sort of thing happen in peninsular Malaysia, well on a personal level I think it can, because the nation itself is moving towards a state of maturity whereby a person shall be judged “by the content of his character and not the colour of his skin”, Martin Luther King Jr.”

If Sarawak is able to show that the people there are ready to accept different views and cultures, why not west Malaysia? Well there are certain issues which arises when addressing this situation, one of it is that, the media does not have a strong hold on these two state, therefore political propaganda has not put its foot firmly into the ground there, secondly less development in that area sort of slows current information from getting to the people and thirdly, the social structures of the people in Sarawak are so closely bonded that people there practise respect and tolerance towards other cultures and religion. The concept of One Malaysia has been recorded dated back when Singapore was part of Malaysia, the same idea was there but of different name “bak kata pepatah, isinya sama kulit yang lain”. It was once known as Malaysian Malaysia, Bangsa Malaysia and now the infamous 1Malaysia, it has been there and it is nothing new, the only way that this ideology can become reality it that we break borders and barriers among the different races that live in Malaysia. The only way that this could happen is that the government amend certain laws and policies which still up to this day is deemed unfairly sided to a certain race, and when that happens, Malaysia would be a strong country, even better than Singapore as we have more land.

The Older generation always refer to a point in time known as “back in the day”, when things were different; when still under British rule and just after independence things were very much different, everybody was equal and people were thriving, as one Malaysia, but when certain laws were made and certain policies were made that’s when the segregation started, so we have only ourselves to blame, Malaysia could be in a very much better situation if we truly practise the cause of democracy, lets face it our nation is still limbering behind we have been a third world country since independence, is it about time that we start moving forward. President Obama wouldn’t be the President of United Sates if the nation of America weren’t matured enough to judge him by his merit and by the content of his character. The American Dream has prevailed again; in this case it was Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King’s dream, and we cannot deny the fact that America has a well learned and strong leader leading them- he is both wise and humble, strong yet subtle and not to mention highly intelligent, in his time, America will progress into a new age, and that’s the same hope I have for Malaysia, that we would be able to be colour blind and matured enough to accept a Malay, a Chinese, an Indian, an Iban, Kadazan, Bidayuh, and so on for what they are and move on forward into the future accepting that these are our brothers and sisters born of the same nation, born of this free country due to the blood shed by our forefathers regardless of skin colour who fought side by side against the Japanese, Communist and Colonization by the British. So can such a thing happen in Peninsular Malaysia, well my personal believe is that it can!

a valuble lesson!

2009-07-24T05:02:00.001-07:00

i've learned something today!

i'm not patient!

i gotta learn to be patient

i read this article online

love is patient

to love is to be patient

to be patient is to love

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves."
-- 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

haha!

i just realized

that i'm never patient

and at times

i guess it's because of insecurities

i gotta trust ppl more

i gotta learn that ppl are ppl man

some will stab you in the back

some will appreciate who you are

well today i learned that

no matter whats happens

i'm just going to love

and be patient

others might think that you are a jack ass

others might think you are nice

others might think you are a fake

well i'm just going to love the others man!

being patient is a gift from God

WHen i think back man

i'm like so.... who was i back in SAM ?

and who i am now?

funny man how God does things to change

your life and the way you think!

http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art3051.asp

read this it's really good!

LOVE is a happy thing.

It makes us laugh,
It makes us sing,
It makes us sad,
It makes us cry,
It makes us seek the reason why,
It makes us take,
It makes us give,
but above all else, it makes us live! ~ Jayne Fisher

and it is so true!

it makes you feel alive!

argh!

2009-07-22T01:57:00.000-07:00

this week is turning out to be a freaking hectic week!

its not because things are difficult

its because ppl make it difficult!

i feel like things are happening again!

shit happens!

this is my last sem i can't give up now!

oh where can my baby be?

i wish things were different!

i'm constantly being reminded of memories

dear God i miss it

all those good times, sweet precious memories!

gone in a vain cry!

but now everything seems like its crumbling back!

foundation is breaking again!

i need my angel, but...argh utter stupidity!

NO THIS CANNOT GO ON!

I WILL DO WELL THIS SEM

AND I WILL LEAVE TAYLOR'S FEELING PROUD!

IT IS TIME TO LEAVE THIS PLACE

I HAVE TO GET A MOVE ON WITH MY LIFE

I MUST GO ON

THIS SPELL SHALL NOT BREAK ME

THIS CURSE SHALL NOT DEVOUR ME

YES I FELL TERRIBLY TODAY,

FOOL

BUT RITE NOW I'M GONNA PICK MYSELF UP

AND STRIFE FOR GOOD,

ITS TIME TO SHOW THE WORLD THAT

JAMES ROBIND PHILIPOSE ISN'T A KID ANYMORE!

I HAVE GROWN INTO A MAN

I HAVE RESPONSIBILITIES A 20 YEAR OLD SHOULDN'T HAVE

I HAVE TO STAY TRUE TO THE PACT

I'M NOT GOING TO FALL AGAIN

NO WAY!

it is time!

to shine, for the glory of God WHo created me,

who blessed me with manifold talents

i shall rise with honor and valor!

this pain shall go away

i'm NOT GOING TO BE STUCK IN PRE U ANYMORE!

I AM GOING TO FINISH MY DEGREE

I AM GOING TO ACHIEVED MY GOALS

I AM GOING TO BE A BETTER MAN!

GET IT, A BETTER MAN HAH!

TQ PPL WISH ME LUCK!

idiot!

2009-07-15T16:55:00.000-07:00

i'm as good as dead again!

that one moment where i felt alive

that one moment of bliss!

and then the consecutive days that follow you destroy the foundation

before it is built

imbecile

a wuss gives into his feelings

a man stands patient

you FUCKING RETARD, WHY CAN;T YOU JUST BE PATIENT

WHY CAN'T YOU BEHAVE MORE MATUREDLY

NUTJOB!

SHE DOESN'T NEED YOUR SONGS,

she doesn't need you to care

she doesn't need anything from you

all she needs is just you

you know why? cause she is not like that

she is not like any other girl

You know what you don;t deserve her

You don;t deserve yourself

You' Re a man now

behave like one!

stop being stupid!

FUCKING IDIOT DO THE RIGHT THING

YOU KNOW YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES

STOP MAKING YOURSELF FEEL SMALL

BE YOURSELF MAN!

SHE ALREADY LIKES THE WAY YOU ARE

THERE IS NO HURRY INTO ANYTHING

stop being a jackass!

stop being a jerk off

stop being so childish

stop being a retard

stop being a mofo

stop being a dick face

stop being a homo

stop being gay

stop being JUST SO FUCKING RETARDED

AND JUST BUT YOURSELF

CAUSE THAT IS WHAT SHE WANTS FROM YOU!

NOT THE VICE PRESIDENT

NOT THE FOOTBALL TEAM PLAYER

NOT THE LEADER

JUST YOU A PLAIN FRIEND!

RETARD

YOU NEED TO UNDO WHAT IS DONE

PRAY THAT GOD HELPS YOU

CAUSE YOU GONNA NEED ALL THE HELP YOU CAN GET

FOOL
NOW GO!

A letter to a friend!

2009-07-10T23:16:00.000-07:00

Dear Friend,
I'm sorry for the way that i've been,
I'm sorry for the pain that i caused,
I don;t wanna hurt you again,
I'm sorry for the way i treated you,
YOu don't deserved this
I miss you dear friend.

you are more than a friend to me,
you saved me from my grave,
you resurrected whats left inside of me
Because of you i'm alive again!

Dear Freind,
I'm sorry i wasn't a friend,
I pushed you till the end,
I'm sorry for being a real ass,
you don;t deserved this,
i miss you dear friend.

you deserve more than you get,
you need more than you deserve,

tribute to mj

2009-06-29T17:12:00.000-07:00

man Mj has made the world a better place! his songs has influenced efforts in saving our world this is a tribute to mj from me!

Lionel richie
There comes a time when we heed a certain call

Lionel richie & stevie wonder
When the world must come together as one

Stevie wonder
There are people dying

Paul simon
And its time to lend a hand to life

Paul simon & kenny rogers
The greatest gift of all

Kenny rogers
We cant go on pretending day by day

James ingram
That someone, somewhere will soon make a change

Tina turner
We are all part of gods great big family

Billy joel
And the truth, you know, love is all we need

Chorus:
Michael jackson
We are the world, we are the children
We are the ones who make a brighter day
So lets start giving

Diana ross
Theres a choice were making
Were saving our own lives

Michael & diana ross
Its true well make a better day
Just you and me

Dionne warwick
Send them your heart
So theyll know that someone cares

Dionne warwick & willie nelson
And their lives will be stronger and free

Willie nelson
As God has shown us by turning stones to bread

Al jarreau
So we all must lend a helping hand

Chorus:
We are the world, we are the children
We are the ones who make a brighter day
So lets start giving

Bob dylan
Theres a choice were making
Were saving our own lives
Its true well make a better day
Just you and me

Michael jackson
When youre down and out, there seems no hope at all

Huey lewis
But if you just believe theres no way we can fall

Cindy lauper
Well, well, well, well let us realize that a change can only come

Kim carnes
When we stand together as one

Chorus:
We are the world, we are the children
We are the ones who make a brighter day
So lets start giving

Theres a choice were making
Were saving our own lives
Its true well make a better day
Just you and me

We are the world, we are the children
We are the ones who make a brighter day
So lets start giving

Theres a choice were making
Were saving our own lives
Its true well make a better day
Just you and me

We are the world......

What about sunrise
What about rain
What about all the things
That you said we were to gain.. .
What about killing fields
Is there a time
What about all the things
That you said was yours and mine...
Did you ever stop to notice
All the blood we've shed before
Did you ever stop to notice
The crying Earth the weeping shores?

Aaaaaaaaaah Aaaaaaaaaah

What have we done to the world
Look what we've done
What about all the peace
That you pledge your only son...
What about flowering fields
Is there a time
What about all the dreams
That you said was yours and mine...
Did you ever stop to notice
All the children dead from war
Did you ever stop to notice
The crying Earth the weeping shores

Aaaaaaaaaaah Aaaaaaaaaaah

I used to dream
I used to glance beyond the stars
Now I don't know where we are
Although I know we've drifted far

Aaaaaaaaaaah Aaaaaaaaaaaah
Aaaaaaaaaaah Aaaaaaaaaaaah

Hey, what about yesterday
(What about us)
What about the seas
(What about us)
The heavens are falling down
(What about us)
I can't even breathe
(What about us)
What about the bleeding Earth
(What about us)
Can't we feel its wounds
(What about us)
What about nature's worth
(ooo,ooo)
It's our planet's womb
(What about us)
What about animals
(What about it)
We've turned kingdoms to dust
(What about us)
What about elephants
(What about us)
Have we lost their trust
(What about us)
What about crying whales
(What about us)
We're ravaging the seas
(What about us)
What about forest trails
(ooo, ooo)
Burnt despite our pleas
(What about us)
What about the holy land
(What about it)
Torn apart by creed
(What about us)
What about the common man
(What about us)
Can't we set him free
(What about us)
What about children dying
(What about us)
Can't you hear them cry
(What about us)
Where did we go wrong
(ooo, ooo)
Someone tell me why
(What about us)
What about babies
(What about it)
What about the days
(What about us)
What about all their joy
(What about us)
What about the man
(What about us)
What about the crying man
(What about us)
What about Abraham
(What was us)
What about death again
(ooo, ooo)
Do we give a damn

Ther's a place in your heart
And I know that it is love
And this place could be much brighter than tomorrow
And if you really try
You'll find there's no need to cry
In this place you'll feel there's no hurt or sorrow

There are ways to get there
If you care enough for the living
Make a little space
Make a better place...

Heal the world
Make it a better place
For you and for me and the entire human race
There are people dying
If you care enough for the living
Make a better place for you and for me

If you want to know why
There's a love that cannot lie
Love is strong
It only cares of joyful giving
If we try
We shall see
In this bliss
We cannot feel fear or dread
We stop existing and start living

Then it feels that always
Love's enough for us growing
So make a better world
Make a better world...

Heal the world
Make it a better place
For you and for me and the entire human race
There are people dying
If you care enough for the living
Make a better place for you and for me

And the dream we were conceived in
Will reveal a joyful face
And the world we once believed in
Will shine again in grace
Then why do we keep strangling life
Wound this earth
Crucify its soul
Though it's plain to see
This world is heavenly be God's glow

We could fly so high
Let our spirits never die
In my heart I feel you are all my brothers
Create a world with no fear
Together we cry happy tears
See the nations turn their swords into plowshares

We could really get there
If you cared enough for the living
Make a little space
To make a better place...

Heal the world
Make it a better place
For you and for me and the entire human race
There are people dying
If you care enough for the living
Make a better place for you and for me

Heal the world
Make it a better place
For you and for me and the entire human race
There are people dying
If you care enough for the living
Make a better place for you and for me

Heal the world
Make it a better place
For you and for me and the entire human race
There are people dying
If you care enough for the living
Make a better place for you and for me

There are people dying
If you care enough for the living
Make a better place for you and for me

There are people dying
If you care enough for the living
Make a better place for you and for me

i need to jam!

2009-06-25T06:00:00.000-07:00

hahaha, there is a burning desire in me to jam again! i'm looking for ppl who interested in jamming, my goodness its been ages since i ever stepped into the studio next month will be recording 2 songs though can't wait to see how it turns out! Goodness, it has already been 6 months into this year see how fast time flies man? its crazy haha i'm proud to say i'm done with smoking! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO everybody clap hands... hmmmm let see haven't smoked since well i don't know, a century ago hehehe! man its amazing what you can do with a string mind and good friends to support! As you can see below i have a lot of material to jam with so i can't wait la see how la this next week goes!

2009-06-24T00:36:00.000-07:00

the tales of jimmy rob rob

i looked up
and from the heavens a maiden came down
a face i haven't seen in awhile!
my heart skipped a beat but my body froze!
my actions were ridiculous!

my my, why am i still stuck with this curse
beautiful maiden why have you put this spell on me?
it keeps me alive but with a limbering pain!
excited, happy, crazy, all at once
i am merely a mortal with flaws
and one of my greatest flaw, is you, my kriptonite

beautiful witch please take this curse away!
i cannot wait for my death any longer!
please i beg of you to remove it!
i'm struck by your staff
please remove it fast!

2009-06-23T11:03:00.000-07:00

the tales of jimmy rob rob

I look to the mountains,
Where does my help come from,
The One who has never forsaken,
The One who dwells in his kingdom,
Help comes from the Lord above,
He never dozes or sleeps
I find comfort in The,
Saves me from the one who sins

Chorus
Flying high
IN the strength of the Lord
I………..
Live to worship you Lord.

Verse 2

Your humble servant knocks at your door,
Please open and embrace me,
Keep me near, your hearts core,
Open my eyes help me see,
The greatness and the Power
That fills me to the brim
All the joy and laughter
Bring happiness within.

Bridge
You are Holy,
Sanctify your name,
We humble ourselves in your presence,
We lift your holy name.

haha this is a christian song i wrote for my church band unfortunately it was not excepted! by the elders! man to all my friends reading this post pls do put a comment regarding this post if you like it or not! tq

the killer's note!

2009-06-23T11:02:00.000-07:00

the tales of jimmy rob rob

The boy was his back,
2 feet from the car,
A girl, she was on her right shoulder,
Her feet to the west,
She was lying,
Lying on his lap.

Dear editor,
This is the zodiac speaking,
I’ll change the way of collecting my sins,
They shall look routine,
These killings of anger,
These killing I desire.

A bag full of ammo Western,
Blood stain on a piece of cloth,
A letter to the editor,
An act to ponder,
Why did he do what he did?
Why so much hate and anger?

I enjoy needling the blue pigs,
Hey blue pig,
I was in that park,
You used fire trucks to mask your patrol cars,
How insignificant are you
Hey pigs, doesn’t it annoy you that you have your noses up each others ass,
If you think I am going to do as I say in those notes,
I must tell you, you’re a fool,
Cause, you deserve to have bullet hole the size of walnuts in your head,
Another cipher, another dead.

In TIme!

2009-06-23T11:01:00.000-07:00

the tales of jimmy rob rob

Time in hand,
Is time not spend,
Spend it all,
What worth is it then?
If time did lend,
His hand again,
She could have saved,
Her loss in the end,
Time and cash,
Equal intents,
Prepare them,
For what you intend,
Invest in time,
So then you could spend,
One or two dimes,
And save a pence,
Or you can,
Come to meet your end,
Suffering, till the last grain of sand.

IN time,
This life, broken
As clocks go by…
A sin
To bear open,
Forever I disappear.

Rise with time
Time is to spare,
Spent that dime,
Receive the dare
Follow through,
If life is unfair
Great glory lies there,
Beyond seas of thoughts,
Beyond voids of anima,
A place where,
Victory is bare,
Where life is bliss,
It has no care,
A freedom within,
A pheasant’s soul’s share.

IN time,
This life, broken
As clocks go by…
A sin
To bear open,
Forever I disappear.

Counter deceitful thoughts,
Uncoil the coiled mind,
Have less fear,
For the time is near,
The beginning of beginnings,
Which end the end of ends.
Mark the hour,
Before you get sour,
For time and wad have the power,
To achieve your ardour’s desires,
Where all earth has no limits,
The entire universe; no bounds,
Respect what God put together,
As time is lucre,
Duple, equal and forever.

IN time,
This life, broken
As clocks go by…
A sin
To bear open,
Forever I disappear.

2009-06-20T10:20:00.000-07:00

its something vulgar, yet sweet!
it's something profane, yet tender!
it's something i really miss
a true loves first kiss!

Love is but a dove,
that never sits on my shoulder!
it flips and flaps all the way across yonder!
it teases me and sometimes i wonder?
Why does it even bother?

I look around in envy!
and even in disgust!
but what is wrong when two ppl find, catch the dove
it's just me i guess, i'm all out of love!

i'm all out of love,
i'm so lost without you,
say the songs of old!
i'm not trying to be bold!
but it's this sense i have,
it does not allow me to let go
painful though
but it feels that i am alive!

i am sick,
indeed i have caught the cold
but the flu isn't getting any better,
it has also invited a few friends
the sores that grow, burrow,
deep into my heart's core

unfortunately there is no cure,
only the kiss from the dove could maybe save me!
or should i be left to be
maybe its just me
i am sick!
this is my melancholy addiction!
the appreciation of a doves pulchritude

i picture it in the nude
making love under a moon lit sky,
overlooking the african savannah,
being embraced by nature,
being cradled by the wind
we succumb to our natural instincts
we commit to our natural desires
we make love like there is no tomorrow
slowly, gently and steadily!
and at the end of it all
to fulfill my utmost desire.

to gaze into your eyes,
and utter, without a stutter nor mutter
i love you...

James Robind Philipose

i swear i'm bored!

2009-06-12T21:48:00.000-07:00

haha nothing to do! helped my grandma yesterday with her move into her new house! haha, it was so funny! there was one bit where my grandma was like really semangat wanna lift the table into the room she was like " ook now we take the table, 1, 2, 3, lift" 5 seconds later she dropped the table saying " haiyo i cannot la" haha. BUt she did pretty well she managed to push the table into the room, with me carrying most of the weight of course lol! NOw i know where i get my strong genes! lol from my grandma haha! Seriously though i admire her la she wants to stay alone and be independent, she doesn't want any of her kids and grand kids to take care of her... respect! She also wants to rent a couple of rooms in the house to students as an extra source of income! what a business woman! Its no wonder that i have great skill in business inherited from a great woman haha! Lets see what else did i inherit ummm... my granddad's height! lol... ooh got my driving license haha... so have been driving my mom around la, now its time for me to return the favor... all those years she drove me around.. now i get to do it la la la feels good! oh you know la parents when you drive rite "WATCH OUT, LOOK FOR THE CAR", "ROBIND, SLOW DOWN, SLLOW DOWN, SSSSLLLLOOOOWWW DDDOOOWWWNNN", " HEY LOOK WHERE YOU ARE GOING", "DON'T GO SO CLOSE", "POT HOLE"..... haha the reactions come suddenly you know like everything in the car will be quiet then BOOM "WATCH THE CAR", THEN i also terkejut! come out from the car i start laughing la! my mom will be "its not funny, car very expensive" then i'll say oh so you care more about the car than me, her reply " of course" then she will start laughing haha!.. aite ohh i can give guitar lessons now most of my students chow ready except for two more knuckle heads! those who want let me know, you got my facebook account msg me there or msg me la!... this is a very rojak blog! later will be going futsal with the boys! hmmp feel like watching movie! don't know who to go with! haiz! wanna go library, feel like going there, but haiz... nobody will be there! just got back from work out, i saw jaya, agil ameera and another not too sure of her her nvm la its wokay la! i swear i'm being so random now ! simply typing to waste time oh shit warcrat book need to finish k la nvm chow!

2009-05-27T21:28:00.000-07:00

the tales of jimmy rob rob

Autism is a brain development disorder characterized by impaired social interaction and communication, and by restricted and repetitive behavior. These signs all begin before a child is three years old. The autism spectrum disorders (ASD) also include the related conditions Asperger syndrome and PDD-NOS, which have fewer signs and symptoms.

Autism has a strong genetic basis, although the genetics of autism are complex and it is unclear whether ASD is explained more by multigene interactions or by rare mutations. In rare cases, autism is strongly associated with agents that cause birth defects. Controversies surround other proposed environmental causes, such as heavy metals, pesticides or childhood vaccines: the vaccine hypotheses are biologically implausible and lack convincing scientific evidence. The prevalence of ASD is about 6 per 1,000 people, with about four times as many males as females. The number of people known to have autism has increased dramatically since the 1980s, partly due to changes in diagnostic practice; the question of whether actual prevalence has increased is unresolved.

Autism affects many parts of the brain; how this occurs is not understood. Parents usually notice signs in the first two years of their child's life. Although early behavioral or cognitive intervention can help children gain self-care, social, and communication skills, there is no known cure. Not many children with autism live independently after reaching adulthood, though some become successful, and an autistic culture has developed, with some seeking a cure and others believing autism should be tolerated as a difference and not treated as a disorder.

to read more http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autism

http://kidshealth.org/kid/health_problems/brain/autism.html

http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/autism.html

http://www.autismmalaysia.com/

http://www.nasom.com.my/

http://www.nasom.com.my/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=52&Itemid=53&lang=en

big guy soft heart!

2009-05-18T05:31:00.000-07:00

man after college i came back home thanks to the help of Hiran and his great savvy turbo, npe sudah dijajah full speed, k wtv.... but yeah after coming back i heard this soft purr coming from the drain outside my house, it was a cat i swear i hate cats, i wanted to let my dog at it, but then i checked again it was a kitten, poor fella was in the drain all alone and cold, the bugger was shivering! I swear i didn't have the heart to let my dog chase it, so i forced my dog back into the house, then i went into the drain and brought the fella out, i was surprised that it didn't not run away because normally a stray born kitten would run away from the first sight of a human, instantly i knew that someone had abandoned the poor fella. After rescuing it from the drain i left it outside la cause i know if my mom see, she will MELETUP! But the poor fella followed me into the house i was like, i had no heart to leave him outside, so i called my mom and asked her to bring some left over fish, cause the dude was shivering like mad, he was basically rattling away! When my mom saw the thing OMG she shouted "throw that thing away" i was like no way, man the dude won't survive out there! i knew that he was an abandoned kitten, it had nice blue eyes and brown fur, it was adorable! So i argued with my mum to pass me the leftover fish and feed the poor fella, she was insisting ferociously and persistently that i "throw that thing away" i was like hell no until i give it food, then, she finally gave in la, so i took the fish, instead of a few leftovers i took one whole fish, and what i did was, plucked out a few pieces and kept it one side hidden in a bush then i took the whole lot and threw it in the open on the side of the road, i did this to ensure at least the little bugger would survive from the other big stray cats around, most of them would be distracted by the big piece! so i left him there, sad part is he followed me back home i was like man, i can't help you don't do this to me, so i took him back to the bush made sure he started eating and then while he was busily eating i slipped away, i looked back once, he was still eating, i prayed that God would take care of him, then i ran off making sure he won't follow me back! haiyo my heart feels so heavy that's y i tak bleh tahan so had to blog bout it! i realize I'm such a big, strong and heavy guy but all it takes is a little kitten to break me! omg! God seriously has a good sense of humor!

rekindling of old times!

2009-05-13T06:45:00.000-07:00

hahaha today was freaking awesome a group of friends and i were playing hide and seek in Taylor's College! The funny thing was i'm so big and i was the hardest to find, i hid in the drain, car boot, behind a tree, on top of a tree nearly anywhere you can think of where i would not hide, i was there lol, it was hilarious i swear, the seeker past me 3 times and he didn't realize i was in the boot of a pick up truck, he even took me for a tree lol. You know best thing is to play hide and seek at night, its scary and fun at the same time. One of my girl friends hid so well that we all mistook her for a bag of garbage lol, i kicked "the bag" so hard, and she still didn't make a sound, she's so small, i thought i nearly cracked her rib lol but it was all good fun la, me, Hiran, Nakiran, Tia, Sarah, Aaron and Dhanraj had an awesome time la seriously we plan to organize a bigger hide and seek soon after exams until 11 pm at night lol!

ps the guards of Taylor's college made it even more exciting lol!

omg things are getting rediculous!

2009-05-12T07:28:00.000-07:00

the government wants to put laws on blogging?! wth! my blog is my space on my personal computer to express myself, and now there are going to be laws, where is the freedom of speech? This shows that our nation hasn't reached a state of maturity, at par with a developed nation, we are still clinging on old mentalities and traditions, we will never be able to push ourselves to the next level if we continue like this! I mean Malaysia is blessed with so many things, we have a bountiful of blessings, but we take those blessing for granted, and we miss manage them! back in the 60's and 70's our football team was one of the best in this region, now we suck! The best part is we are a football nation, a nation that eat, sleep and talk football. how la like this? i wish we were in the environment of the past but equipped with the technology of tomorrow!

haha i just don't care anymore! lol! its the best feeling of a certain freedom!

2009-05-10T05:33:00.000-07:00

wow today was mother's day and i haven't done shit for my mom, been busy with shit loads of work, assignments and paperwork! i didn't even go to church for the past month, i can't wait for a breather!

this is going to be the weirdest blog i have ever written, but heck it, i marked today as a state of freedom for my personal being, i have finally come to terms that i have to stop caring too much about other ppl's well being. What i have learned so far is that the more you care about someone the less that person appreciates you, and the less you appreciate yourself. Its crazy, logically, when you show kindness to someone, it is return back with an acknowledgment, but, what kind of a world i thought i was living in, this is the 21st century, not the 70's. Its true what ppl say about me i'm an old skool soul trapped in the middle age!

ITs true what, investors say, you gotta think about your own self interest before judging what other ppl would do, cause in the long run other ppl just only care about how much they can make for a pound of meat! The one thing i have realized is that relationships and friends come and go but, your identity, your essence, and your history sticks with you! It is what makes you who you are, and you can never change it! i appreciate the fact that my parents are conservative, even though i'm a bit different or think differently, i'm still glad that i have two parents still living together! I used to be naive, i used to blame the situation on other ppl, but now i rather change the situation with the resources i have and make my own existence a better one! i used to blame my father for so many things but now i'm glad that he is still around supporting my education, even though he really despises my music and my dream at least he still provides just enough for me. At times, though i feel ha can be a better person in the way he deals with ppl and his own family members, but well that's my dad, i guess ppl who grew up hard never really got it the easy way, therefore they never really know how to chillax,

Right now i'm focused on the things i got, my life is 90% almost perfect, but you know what they say, you can never have everything, its good to let go of certain stuff! i have a great football team, the brothers are whacked lol, a great music club with enthusiastic members, the students i teach for guitar classes are amazing, the thing i wanna complete which is help some autistic kids, with sound therapy are what i wanna do with the music i play, especially with some new materials of acoustic soul music! Not to offend anyone, but i'm sorry, i'm just not interested in any other activities, or mutual feelings that involve two human beings! i'm not that kind of person anymore! Right now, my life is almost complete, i still have goals to achieve and places to go, I wanna see the world! Hopefully use some of my experiences to change other ppl's lives. All I want is to lead a good life and restore some old friendships that have been broken by the ONE AND ONLY tq very much!

All i can do is stay positive, i always used to say this "when you hit rock bottom, the next journey is to fly sky high". When you hit rock bottom in your life, you have two choices, you can run from your problems and go nowhere or learn from it, and gain the experience and priceless knowledge and start changing your life! A positive way of thinking leads to a positive outcome! Things aren't so bad when you are always able to see the silver lining in every dark cloud! ITs true Trust me, i strongly believe in it! The way you think inside reflects on the outside so yeah! make the change start thinking differently cause its true what ppl say, it is all in the mind-the mind can be the creator or it can be the destroyer, it's up to you to decide how you wanna live your life!

So basically, this liberation has set me free form certain stuff that i would really like to be rid of! Just care less, try living your own life, claim it and you'll see a huge change trust me it works for me!

2009-05-07T22:10:00.000-07:00

the tales of jimmy rob rob

this video is inspirational its the voices of the street

THIS IS THE FUCKING REASON WHY I LIVE FOR MUSIC! THIS IS WHAT I WANT TO CREATE!

2009-04-18T05:01:00.000-07:00

the tales of jimmy rob rob

fuh its been a long week tired with stuff! homework to the brim man the next month and a half is going to be crazy, planned to sacrifice a couple of "vises" i need to push my grade beyond 90 now! wish me luck! hey hey the taylor's football club beat the taylors staff football team 8 to neil hahahaha we rock! lol nothing to brag about the teacher were unfit bit all in all a good game!

sta new and improved!

2009-04-04T05:31:00.001-07:00

the other day i was talking to chopstick and he said the melody of the song is beautiful but the lyrics doesn't reflect the song the previous lyrics were cheesy la even i felt that something was missing!

so here is the new improved chapati and chopstick approved! sta

you, sweet as your lips,
more colour than the rainbow,
prettier than the sky.
The smile on your face,
the beauty that illuminates,
I can only appreciate,
my hearts yours to take!

pre chorus
spinning spinning on a log across this raging sea,
but i am kept afloat,
chorus!
2x
by this bliss in me,
by this memory of you,
by the picture of you that flutters by...

Never, no no
never have i seen,
such a human being,
her heart so pure.
Funny, yeah,
Funny how it seems,
that i can only dream,
i'm not as clean
Yeah its her i adore.

how can i be there for you,
i hope you see that i love you,
for the way your are.
I just want,
to be there for you,
close to you, next to you
wanna make you happy too!

i just want to be there for you,
i pray that God will show me the way,
I wish not to sway!

passed my driving! version undang!

2009-03-26T13:04:00.000-07:00

yeah yeah, i passed my driving! yes yes first was 41, second was 40 now the third was 44 yes i passed, i'm on the road to become a rally driver lol, i know la i'm 20 but i'm getting there slow and steady step by step! lol

the weirdest dream ever!

2009-03-26T13:00:00.000-07:00

i woke up looking at it, it looked back at me, i smile, it smile, it was weird and queer. Then it slept next to me! Then it turn into this mortified beast. It looked at me and said "i hate you" and then it bit me on my neck. I raised my fist and broke it's skull and then the dream was over!

tragic!

2009-03-26T12:54:00.000-07:00

what am i supposed to do? i have done nothing wrong -?maybe?. i've done all i could and i leave it to time to heal all things, hopefully my gestures would not have gone in vain, hopefully you will remember who i am. Yeah, right! Hopefully!

2009-03-12T01:37:00.001-07:00

2009-03-12T01:36:00.000-07:00

2009-03-11T06:23:00.000-07:00

the tales of jimmy rob rob

2009-03-10T09:14:00.001-07:00

the tales of jimmy rob rob

2009-02-28T20:21:00.000-08:00

Leadership camp!

2009-02-28T19:03:00.000-08:00

where do i start! man the camp was awesome man! well i'll post some pics la!

well the camp as you all know was about leadership!

and i t kinda got me thinking, leadership comes with purpose, and in purpose, there are 5 main aspects of it

1. design follows purpose
2. direction is determined by purpose
3. desire fuels purpose
4. divinity is purpose
5. defines a leader

i define it as the 5 d's of leadership which is a subset of purpose! after deep in thought, i finally realize how important it is to have purpose, for instants take my whole SAM year i didn't have purpose, therefore i was wayward! didn't know which direction to take and was too scared to make the wrong choices!

leadership is not about titles and positions it is about how you as an individual can INFLUENCE others in the right way! This statement is absolutely precise about when it comes to being a born leader or not! I say each one of us are leaders in our own way, we just need to learn to discover the truths about ourselves first! it comes down to how you respect and love yourself! its not being self indulgent or gluten over yourself but its more about exploring your limits and talents, and appreciating them! It is through these God given talents that you use it in a way to help others- make ones life more meaningful!

THis brings me to the next point! what is leadership without passion! you need passion to do what you truly believe in, therefore with that passion and desire, you can lead others. It boils down to purpose again! like i asked myself why do you want to do music, i probably asked myself a million times,Why? and then i realized well the only reason why i want to do music is that i want to reach out to ppl and help them in anyway possible! Music can really heal the soul! the words that musicians put into lyrics weather simple or intricate can cause some emotional stir that moves us in whatever way! It can make us feel good!, it can make us miss somebody! i can help us realized the thing we have and have lost! like for example the song school of rock made me realized why i loved playing guitar- cause it was fun! not that i wanted to become a rockstar or not that it was about the fame! See now i truly understand this therefore i have a purpose, the reason why i want to finish my Engineering is that it brings me 1 step closer to living my dream! i'm too lazy to list down how cause that's what i want you to think of!

Within Passion itself there are 3 modes,

1.pushing
2.changing
3.surviving

Pushing is a stage where you'll be, once you really and truly know about what you really and truly want to do! its a stage where you won't care how long and how far it takes to achieve your goals! i'm at this stage now! i'll do whatever it takes in the right and most morally correct way to achieve my goals.

changing was where i used to be, always following what other ppl told me to do therefore i didn't have direction! when ppl did this i also wanted to do it when ppl say don;t do it or you can't , i started thinking less of myself, well i'm sorry to say that now i know myself and i know what i'm capable of doing, in fact i'm capable of doing many things lol

survival mode was incredibly life destroying for me it was the point in my life where i sensed no support from anybody not even my friends, not even my own parents, just basically my whole support system wasn't strong and i cracked miserably under pressure! But i say i was a good thing that they didn't do anything for me cause from that, i have learned too many good values from it! sometimes it is best to leave one when one is going through horrible times just providing a hand which is more than enough of what you can do at the right time because sometimes one truly needs ones space and time to understand and realize things and know how stuff work! i don't know how or why it is like that but well, all we can do is just except it as it is and not try to do more than what we possibly can do! BE POSITIVE MAN! THAT'S ALL YOU NEED TO BE, FACE CHALLENGES IN LIFE IN A POSITIVE WAY AND YOU'LL SEE POSITIVE RESULTS! WOW I HAVE JUST REALIZED SOMETHING! LOL!

Well that's what i learned in the leadership camp!

that you got to have the right desires, motivations, passion, purpose and a positive mindset to be a productive individuals not so much of a leader but to be a productive influential people that help others in the right way!

another thing that i found out about my personality is that i'm an "i" person

there are 4 main aspect they are called the DISC CRITERION OF YOUR PERSONALITY!

D is for dominance
i is for influential
s is for steadiness
c is for conscientiousness

basically i'm and i person

i enjoy talking. enthusiastic, spontaneous, random, optimistic, sociable, trusting, Respond to feelings, participating, like to make others happy, risk taker, like variety, energetic, group oriented, fun loving, motivator, creative, promoter, idealistic, enjoy changes (good ones), amiable! oh and verY LOUD!!!!!

my weaknesses are, poor at listening, short lived interest, disorganized under pressure, not realistic, superficial, gullible, impulsive, subjective, over committed, and a ppl pleaser!

unfortunately this is so true about me, but i'm not shy to share! i'll just have to learned not to be like this lol! it'll be hard but its not impossible!

hahaha next time if there is a leadership camp pls do go you never know unless you try! never say no unless you have tried it! lol

2009-02-26T20:37:00.001-08:00

damn i didn't know what i was missing lol!

2009-02-26T19:48:00.000-08:00

freaks tony freakin royster junior on drums man!

who says r&b is lame man! cant remember the basist's name but he is top league lol

2009-02-26T01:31:00.000-08:00

Anyone is welcome to build off of these tabs.

D F#m
You don't always have to fuck her hard, In
Em A
Fact sometimes that's not right ... to do.
D F#m
Sometimes you gotta make some love
Em A
And fuckin give her some smooches too

Bm G
Sometimes you got to squeeze
Bm G
Sometimes you got to say please
D A
Sometimes you got to say hey:

D F#m
I'm gonna fuck you .... softly
Em A
I'm gonna screw you gently
D F#m
I'm gonna hump you.... sweetly
Em A
I'm gonna ball you ... discretely---

Bm G
And then you say, Hey I brought you flowers
D A
And then you say, Wait a minute sally!
B G Em
I think I got something in my teeth could you get it out for me?
A
That's fuckin' Teamwork!

D F#m
What's your favorite posish?
Em A D
That's cool with me it's not my favorite but I'll do it for you
F#m
What's your favorite dish?
Em A
I'm not gonna cook it but I'll order it from Zanzibar!

Bm G
And then I'm gonna love you completely
D A
And then I'll fuckin' fuck you discretely
Bm G
And then I'll fuckin bone you completely
D
But then...

Em A C G D
I'm gonna fuck ---- you ----- haaaaaaaaaard-------
Bb7 C D
haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaard!!!!

this song is on the list of chapati and chopsticks catch us soon near a road near you!

2009-02-26T01:08:00.000-08:00

hospital!

2009-02-25T04:42:00.000-08:00

i went to the hospital just now in the morn, had a check up, about my chest and heart and all that nonsense! last week i had been complaining about chest pain and difficulty of breathing. It has been hurting for quite awhile, and yeah i smoke so i got a bit worried. Ppl i really hate smoking man, but the craving and withdrawals are killing me lol literally lol. Man in the hospital the shit that ran through my mind, daymn, freaky wei freaky!.

Waiting for hours just to see the doc, throws your mind in fields of wondrous and malign imaginations man. Waiting there for hours doing nothing, tends to make the mind start to over analyze. Mounting in sear boredom and nothing to distract the mind honestly starts to make your imagination run crazy!

This is what i was thinking about!

I started thinking about the people i cause pain... Was this karma biting back at me, haiyo ! Yet i tried to remain positive-that nothing was the matter with me! Then not strangely enough, i start thinking of love, pffftt like wtf rite! Love is a subject that i can't be bothered to understand anymore lol i just had that epiphany just now in the hospital. Yet i still appreciate the fact that we are friends lol. damn psycho wei lol! Then i started asking myself these questions

why should i be like this?
why should i be so complicated?
why should i over analyze things?
Why should i hurt myself with these kinda thought?
and then again why shouldn't i?

I know pathetically insane rite? lol That is what it feels like, but at the smae time it feels good being this miserable.Queer rite!

So i just be positive and pray that someday all these things would correct themselves. I leave it to time, Time does heal all things. It takes time to start missing the good things in life. The reasoning to all this is just plainly vague. You just can't seem to understand such things but just live on, being positive and happy, appreciating whatever you still have left!

Nowadays, i let life be my teacher, experiences from life itself is priceless. Well i just leave it to the ultimate ONe, the One that owns my life and He can do with it whatever he pleases. If i am to be his personal and practical joke then so be it lol! BUt i'm still as important in this play of life as the rest of us hahaha =P

These were my last thoughts just before seeing the doc!

If i love you, i would just let you lead your own life, but I shouldn't stay away cause it would only hurt you and i lol. Man it is weird what the mind is capable of making you think when your life is just on the edge of the cliff! Then i see the doc!

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seconds, minutes then hours i get the news! bloody hell the nurse almost gave me a shock, why can't they smile before giving the news? The expression on her face was not comforting at first but then she casually goes

"you are ok nothing wrong, lungs are healthy, heart is healthy just a bit low blood pressure"

i'm like you can be casual about that! man i was damn relieved man its like another second chance in a second chance! i have to do it some how or rather i'll have to quit that God Forsaken habit!

After all the shit i done i still have a chance to right some wrongs!

2009-02-25T04:21:00.000-08:00

the lyrics from this song is awesome la save me from myself, "we can cause the most fucked up shit when we fuck ourselves up" R.I.P Dimebag

lol

2009-02-24T08:07:00.000-08:00

sorry aryan saw this in your blog i just had to do it the cheap indian way lol!

the moral of the story is don't be over analytical about things!

Being Cheap Like an Indian!

2009-02-24T06:00:00.000-08:00

Funny, the last time i used to up hold this statement, i do admit it was fun to see what you could do with the least amount of money or in other words, least amount of spending money, the so called 'budgeeedddd'. lol . Russel Peters put it in a good way, if we Indians could do anything different, it would to do stuff at half price/ half the cost/ double the selling price! lol. Yeah , but now i see being cheap is an obstacle or a limitation to yourself to enjoy perks in life!... last week i would have gone to the barber to get a hair cut, yesterday i went to the saloon! the hair cut was amazing, the dude really did a good job, you can't see much of a difference but, it looks good, few ppl comment about my new look, said it was pretty good. I guess the statement is true then when you start loving yourself, it gets easier for other ppl to respect you! cause the energy and the vibe that you emit gets rubbed off on them! lol. I guess when you start appreciating yourself first, then ppl start seeing the worth in you! so give yourself that treat of some expensive chocolate and ice cream, just for the sake of making you feel good! Lol, When i came home lol, the comments aka lectures came rolling la why you cut like this, look not nice la (parent), then i said why are you just focusing on the hair and not the whole self! lol i feel good, i look good, and i know it! so it doesn't really matter what you think hahahA that made them think for awhile!

My parents are starting to say that i'm being disrespectful, lol i'm saying that i will definitely not respect you if you suppress my talents from now onwards! its not the matter of being self indulgent but the fact of appreciating your own talents! Man i know for a fact that i'm good at guitar stuff! been good at it since young! so obviously you need to spend a little to expand that talent lol i recalculated the amount of cash spent lol i spent more than 25k on my guitar and stuff because of the fact my parents used the phrase " well we will get a cheap one first then when you get better we will buy you a better one" man if back in the day if they did buy me a good guitar they would have saved 5k which is still a lot that is like 1 months salary! But no my parents can't see that, they want " respect" then they use the " we are paying for you so you have to respect us" i say " its your duty to pay for me until i can stand on my own feet and don't try to make me feel guilty for making you spend" lol then they tell me to work, reality check i think its pretty hard esp in malyasia with no minimum wage set to work at the right amount and earn a decent amount! i mean i worked in a food chain restaurant for 4 days, 7am to 12am and earned only 100bucks! freaking with over time also lol. It is just not for me! working and studying in malaysia just ain't worth it! Probably at a quaternary level it is possible but at pre uni nah man no way!

the point which my parents can't see is that i'm actually staring to appreciate myself for what i am and for who i am! its not like i ask money for clubbing, i think most of you know that i hate drinking and clubbing, the only time i go to a club is probably once in a blue moon now! why should we spent RM500 buck ave. on one bloody bottle that can only "take our troubles away" in a couple of hours of highness and hang overs! I'd rather, go gym or climb mountains than do all that stuff anymore! If some of you notice, especially in my speech, my vulgarity rate has reduced significantly, my language has improved and that cussing for me now seems pointless, even under EPC (Extreme Pissed off Conditions), i have replaced fuck and bitch and so on and so forth with what the fag, frying fishsticks! lol just for the heck of it!

i hope through me, my parents can start lovin themsleves then each other. Heck man i'm proud to be indian. That notion was justified yesterday, slumdog millionaire 8 oscars, damn its sexay to be indian, lol its sexy to be me! hahaha! i guess the best way to right errors in your life is to start from within you lol to be continued.... going out to minum now!

just came back! was with Pal and Reshma! wahahahaha! damn and still doing this chem eqn yes i'm multitasking, chem eqn functions and blogging! both sides of the brain being used the left and right! hahaha just at the mamak just now! lol that reminds me i have a new side project called chapati chopstick! we are a band 2 ppl with acoustic guitars we will be starting our street tour next month first jln ampang, pls be ready to give any of your loose change lol then probably somewhere closer maybe sunway, then back in Taylors we will be visiting all the local colleges and universities! it is absolutely free, non profit, charitable! our managers have insisted that no formal appeal in necessary, if we get arrested, WE'RE GETTING ARRESTED FOR PUBLIC SOUND POLLUTION! SO hope to see you guys around! for our first set we will be doing 1 one song, then the second set another song, and the third another song, so basically 6 songs, that's like a really long show like one of our longest tours-20 minutes! The 6 songs that's basically an album of original covers and probably 2 more new songs been added as we go on the road! So pls do get our make belief cd templates coming out soon in about 3 minutes time! ok done! this is as real as it get, none of this is absolutely bogus! this is the real deal! we're gonna be rockstars! we've been getting emails from our fans to make a new album of original covers! this time probably be 8 songs in it before another two are added!
lol

Man the name James is such an official name lol, i think from now on i'm going to intro myself as robind

think about it Prof Charles Xavier. WE know him as Prof. Xavier, Mr. Boddy Mitchel, as Mr. Mitchel, for current friends just call me whatever you want, lol so for James Robind Philipose, Is should be by right Mr. Robind! hahaha queer rite! well so what! its just a name! lol

clearing doubts

2009-02-22T04:40:00.000-08:00

ok i deactivated my facebook account cause it is a freaking time parasite! i hate it my priorities are screwed with fb, so i need to set it back on course, anyway if you need me you have my number, if you don't too bad just pm here on my blog! i got loads of stuff to do

0.9) keep contact with God
1)read books
2)study
3) write music
4) teach my students
5)gym
6) rock climb
7) expand my knowledge and insight
8)music club
9) my work, new business joint venture!
10) change certain undesirable ways of mine!
11) blog with new improved vocab! what's so funny!
12)finish homework everyday
13) pool
14) swimming every friday at cousins apartment!

yeah exactly i ain't lame babeh! i'm full of life! now how bout you lol! go do something which you think you will never do in your entire life, see what it means to be alive! never say no before trying it! unless you have medical conditions, value your pyhsical life and your external life

facebook is a time parasite, i can;t be bothered anymore! lol
loving myself to the fullest babeh!

2009-02-21T05:04:00.000-08:00

behind blue eyes!

2009-02-20T15:24:00.000-08:00

man this song is so meaningful to me! cause its about other ppl judging your screwed up choices! man nobody is screwed, it's only that we make screwed up choices! I hate the fact that ppl just can;t seem to understand that!

No one knows what it's like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes
And no one knows
What it's like to be hated
To be fated to telling only lies

Man this first verse for me is damn meaningful because nobody will ever know the shit i went through to be where i am today, yes i'm still nothing, yes i'm still nobody, but at the least i'm wiser, more mature, more rational, more independent!
the lines to be the bad man, and to be the sad man, these lines represent the way i was made to feel, like as if i was such a loser with no aim and no purpose in life, so i felt that i was a bad man, but in actual fact i was a sad man! behind blue eyes just represent my innocents, but nobody could ever see it! and nobody will ever know what its like to be hated... when you really feel that ppl really hate you, for the bad choices that you made! not because of what you are! Therefore it lead me to sorta like sugar coat the way i lived with lies, hence the phrase "fated to telling only lies"

But my dreams they aren't as empty
As my conscience seems to be
I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance
That's never free

the chorus is amazing, it represents a whole lotta emotions into one! what ever i have done, my dreams aren't as empty! but at times my conscience seem to be, meaning at times i feel so lost that i need a strong support system just to help me get through rather than being judged, but heck i don;t even have that! yeah parents lol my parent don;t love themselves and they don't love each other, lol im always in my room, my mom is always in the kitchen, and my dad god knows what he is doing! that is how it feels in my house! freaking emotional nothingness! Thats y i have hours but only i am only too lonely, therefore my love is always in arrogance, vengeance, teasing, irritating, annoying, sometimes a bit vulgar, but i can never be free unless i feel the love of my one true love!

No one knows what its like
To feel these feelings
Like i do, and i blame you!
No one bites back as hard
On their anger
None of my pain and woe
Can show through

see it just links! see the connection, because of the reasons stated above, no one will ever know what is like to feel these feelings like i do and i blame not me, but the others around me that just abandoned me, yeah i too have my own faults, but when i really needed love all i got was hate, how do you think i should react to that, how do you think you would have reacted? when i go to my parents they say i'm immature, but on the other hand my uncles and cousins and certain friends say that i am not! what do you think would be the questions running through your head! think about it before you answer! no one bites back as hard on their anger none of my pain and woe can show through! yeah at time i can be emotional, cause i'm losing it, i'm losing that grip, sometimes i can be extremely angry, but still nobody will ever know, because 3 quarters of the time, i'm always jovial, fun, cracking jokes, making fun of ppl! cause i hide my true self behind barriers, and i can;t be bothered to show.

No one knows what its like
To be mistreated, to be defeated
Behind blue eyes
No one knows how to say
That they're sorry and don't worry
I'm not telling lies

man i don't even have to explain this the words speak for itself!

When my fist clenches, crack it open
Before I use it and lose my cool
When I smile, tell me some bad news
Before I laugh and act like a fool

If I swallow anything evil
Put your finger down my throat
If I shiver, please give me a blanket
Keep me warm, let me wear your coat

this lyrics are from the actual song by the who! the words explain itself so if you understand or not doesn't matter the point is never be negative, and don't let your negativity spill over to other ppl.. don't judge, just learn to love... you see a weirdo don't degrade him, just say he is cool in his own way! being positive is love!
love for yourself, for others, and hopefully other ppl can pass the light to others!

faint bridge!

2009-02-19T03:29:00.000-08:00

the tales of jimmy rob rob

inspired by joel

2009-02-19T03:11:00.000-08:00

the tales of jimmy rob rob

this was inspired by joel concept is the same but the idea is different! this is how i feel now plain utter..... you figure it out!

words!

2009-02-15T12:44:00.000-08:00

i have reached the brink!
the brink of all madness!
now my life seems to be like of a dew hanging on the tip of a blade of grass!
Pushed more until my feet feel the desperation to step on new ground!
This ache that drives me on the edge of insanity!
This a burden that makes my tongue always thirst!
Has it all what was written come down to this!
As the zephyrs bring the taste of new hope!
I am week to my knees, plummet to the floor i go!
and then i feel the strength being drawn from the earth itself
from my memories of loved ones, from the tales of my brethren,
from the very essence of my being i stand....
i look down the cliff of doom, but i fear no more...
the strength grows bigger and deeper, filled with the rage; the epitome of war!
i turn around and beat my chest hard with my axe!
i shout and roar a fearsome roar that the ground trembles before me!
i lift my spirits to the ones that protect me, i beg for forgiveness!
and then....
i face my pain, it comes to me like a roaring lion, a behemoth of a sandstorm!
how did this monstrosity grow so strong!
i stomp the ground, i charge to slay the beast!
with every step the uncertainty remains uncertain
but i care not of the outcome, i only want to ravage this unforgiving task!
and so i go with the might of my God and the spirit of the land and the love of loved ones
this strength now becomes me!

walau i also don;t know what i'm talking wei lol but the words kept running in my head couldn;t sleep wei like 5 something in the morn only slept for 1 hour 30 minits thanks to chem

2009-02-15T02:30:00.000-08:00

Seether Lyrics
Broken - Amy Lee Lyrics

over confidence gets you nowhere!

2009-02-15T01:52:00.000-08:00

fuh words of a friend that hit hard in my head lol! amazing!

anyway this blog ain't about that its about the kiss of death!

walking in ac today! man the number of ppl smoking! i just felt like i wanted to join them
the pungent smell of death, its disgusting! but it tempts me like a seductive virgin willing herself to me! man the urge to taste that bud again all of a sudden grew strong like a brute force within me!

i could feel it tingling at the tip of my tongue!
that flavor that comes in sheep's clothing which only offers death!

hhhaaawwww! how can something feel so good but at the same time it is so wrong!

a sense of uneasiness came shouting at me like a wild woman! and for the first time i felt the rush and the need to get out of ac! No is what i'm going to say! Never again will i embrace the kiss of death! if ever i die it is to embrace a new life

life where pain and suffering mean -oblivion-

i have to stop this nonsense! The power is already within me! i just need to learn to release this love and let it over flow!

your mind is as strong as you think it is! Your body will follow suit! your soul represents all that is good and all that is bad in you, and your spirit is what makes you live and move on!

this journey has been a blessed one! i praise God that i went through this life in order that i can help others when the time comes and when it is needed!

now i look back i had so many blessing but i never really understood the importance of them! Well, now i know! CAll me immature! may be i deserve it but well that's the old me la but maybe now i deserve a second chance, so woo hoo!

all i can do now is to live up and rise above all expectation! Wow amazing, amazing stuff this here blog! i realized something even more maturity and understanding and wisdom is already in you it is just that you are given the opportunity to show it, wow.

Pretty deep aye! lets think about it this kinda reminds me of evan almighty! When you ask for something you just don't get it, but you will be presented with the opportunity to prove it HAHAHAHAH wow! amazing simply amazing

funny how a few changes in your life can make you realize a lot of stuff! Praise be to God!

But i still gotta remember i'm only human so it is best to take things one baby step at a time!

hmmmm... amazing!

man!

2009-02-14T16:15:00.000-08:00

man damn la now the brother has to go back la! we thought we could get started again! but see now shit too deep! Why la why?? hollow is the song man! wake up in the morn and the brother is saying sorry for something ain't his fault! wth la! this is what screwed up friends can do to you! they can destroy you! Bro trust me i'm praying 4 you! everything will be fine! you need to trust God man! And dude the drugs must stop!

2009-02-14T08:32:00.001-08:00

hollow

2009-02-14T08:16:00.000-08:00

if like the freaking song hollow by pantera! thats how i feel for my friend!

nonsense!

2009-02-14T07:54:00.000-08:00

a sickening sight to see!
when a dog eats its vomit!
its even more sickening when you see one friend hurt another
i think sickening is not the right word, its pissed off and irritated!
but its none of my business!
so best is to leave it!
but i mean like seriously it is even more like arggghhhh when you know about stuff but you can't do anything about it cause then it would offend the wrong ppl or ppl whom you don't really wanna offend
its even more pissing off when you have actually seen it been done behind your friend's back... caught red handed! but like wth you just simply can't do nuts! frustration!
if i had it my way i would have just gone in and gave the fella a piece of my mind! but it ain't my business! i can only stand in the sidelines and watch!
its like those war rulez you wanna help but you gotta let them settle this on their own! so what can i do! well beats me , but all i can do is pray for the one i support! man dude you are just messing with the wrong person! respect is what you need to learn!

2009-02-12T01:57:00.001-08:00

patience is a virtue!

2009-02-11T01:19:00.000-08:00

A Self centered bastard is what i became.... but i know i'm! not what the fuck came over me!
instead of truly being there...
i was thinking bout myself... [tone is disappointment with myself] this is not how i am! what the fuck!
Now i have only hurt and pushed the one person [tone of self realization]
whom i think really cared for me!
i have only myself to blame... WHAT WAS I THINKING!
the more i tried the more i pushed!
i have pushed her away and too far!
and words cannot describe
i'm sorry that i cared too much!
i'm sorry that i added to more of your shit!
i'm sorry that i harassed you when all you needed was a friend!
this is not how i am... i'm a different guy today!
Sorry now really seems to be the hardest word!
if only i was patient!
if only i wasn't so insecure
if only....( YA RIGHT YOU DUMB FOOL) (NOW "IN ONLY" SEEMS A BIT TOO LATE RITE)
i'm sick of myself...it is time to change... this ain't me!!
i need to go back to the day when i thought that learning guitar was fun and cool!
NOT always wanting to be someone who i am not! (like some loser rockstar)
and now i only hope that i haven't lost a dear friend! (HAIYO BODOH BETUL!)
no more of this bullshit! this ain't me " i like to have fun, yeah and at times i can be a lil emo, and yeah at times i can love to listen to Madonna! so what! and yeah at time i can be a bit gay ok not a bit but a lot but so what
i pray that she would forgive me!
one day when the chance comes i will not let her down!
she does not need anymore let downs from me!
i promise you dear friend i will not let you down! no way not anymore, i have learned tho, i have learned a lot!
man all i have done was irritate you and annoy you! (GREAT LA JAMES WELL DONE)
need to change my ways!
need to learn how to love myself first!
a once wise old man told me how can you love others when you don't love yourself
i miss my grandad! (REALLY LA IF HE WAS HERE RITE HE WOULD SURELY GIVE ME THE BEST ADVISE LA)
but one thing i cannot admit is that falling 4 you was never a mistake!
(HONESTLY THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO ME IN MY LIFE -all 20 years-)

HAIYO BODOH IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO RIGHT THE WRONGS IN YOUR LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GO AND DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT ....SALVAGE WHAT YOU CAN!

PROVE THAT YOU ARE DIFFERENT, TOO MANY WORDS ARE USELESS! I AIN'T GONNA ADMIT THAT I'M STUPID! AT THE LEAST I'M WISE ENOUGH TO REALIZE THIS! THIS IS THE LAST TIME I'M GONNA EVER SAY FUCK SO!

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!

LOL sorry Lord gimme one more chance to sin! Thank you!

improtant thing is!

2009-02-02T00:18:00.000-08:00

Wow, man this week has been a good week!
JUst got my results for Chem Quiz woo hoo only lost 1 mark!!!! ecstatic!
Man there is any important issue that need mentioning!
its about trust!
Trust is like any tall building! takes a long time to build but 2 seconds to destroy!
There is only one friend i'm concerned about now, whom i have bruised the trust factor in our friendship! I must gain that trust back!
IT doesn't matter how i feel anymore! the fact is that it is extremely important to gain my friend's trust! i don;t care if i have to walk through the valleys of the dead and through the fires of hell's chasm, the important and most significant thing is to gain that trust again!
My feelings or emotions are but a fly compared to the huge behemoth of a task to gain back i'm friends trust!
While other minions and barbarians may dress in sheep's clothing just to entice my friend! i will come as the brute force i am offering peace and stability, wanting only something more precious than gold, silver or even platinum! TRUST!

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaadddddddddddddddd!

2009-01-29T18:46:00.000-08:00

the tales of jimmy rob rob

sear utter madness which bulldozes my mind leaving havoc in its wake, feel like popping! this melodious melancholy!

why do ppl like to give you shit to deal with everyday! do this do that! make this make that! wei i need time for myself la!!!!!!!!!!!!

in my own words i have realized something very important! lol see mad!

2009-01-20T04:24:00.001-08:00

2009-01-19T19:14:00.001-08:00

This Blog IS CLOSED! I NEED A BREAK!

2009-01-19T02:12:00.000-08:00

the tales of jimmy rob rob

2009-01-18T19:55:00.001-08:00

this is what i want to do!

2009-01-18T15:43:00.000-08:00

the tales of jimmy rob rob

ROCK CLIMBING AND LIFE!

2009-01-17T16:30:00.000-08:00

i love rock climbing man! its my new 2009 hobby! rock climbing equals life. Let me show you how i made the connection! See, our goals lay ahead of us, our destiny lies beyond us, it is just exactly like rock climbing! we choose a wall to climb, therefore our aim is to reach the top! This CHOICE, has the same significance in our lives! THink about! We choose to do something! but we can never know how hard the journey would or wouldn't be, but we always keep a positive mind and we try to reach the top! Just like rock climbing, certain times we will be unsure of what to do or what not to do, that's when we fall or give up on the path! But the beauty of rock climbing is that it narrows the viewpoint of how you see life to a simple state. It is as simple as this, when you fall you keep trying again and again, till you reach the top! LEts just say for some reason that, a certain path can't be conquered, that doesn't mean that that pathway is impossible! It just means that you are not ready to take on that path, and that you need to be somewhere else training and gaining experience, in order that one day when you decide to take on that path again, with the experience you have on your shoulder you'll probably be able to conquer that certain irritable, obscuring and malevolent path! Rock climbing can represent many aspects of your life, for instance, the Belayer of the rock climber must be a strong, alert and ever ready, to be there to guide you and to help you in case you fall. It is exactly what you want to look for in your significant other, he or she must be someone there ever ready to guide you, to catch you, to help you and to be your rock whenever you need him/her. In every aspect, rock climbing represents life, in its small humble way. Even the fact that we go climbing with friends, can be represented as, in life good friends will be there to help you and to guide you, to help make your goals achievable, certain friends will always be there for you certain friends will not, it is just like how life is! And that is y i enjoyed my birthday and the friends who came i will always cherish in my heart!

like a stone!

2009-01-16T00:02:00.001-08:00

WTF

2009-01-15T06:13:00.001-08:00

WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahaha have you ever been so worried of losing someone special that inturn you did something crazy! i know i did? lol big joke la

haha a day that i'lll remember!

2009-01-09T00:17:00.000-08:00

LOL tomorrow is my birthday but already ppl are celebrating it today lol..... man today i had an awesome surprise gig man... first time in my life that anyone even considered giving me a surprise party... you know as they say there is always a first for everything haha, i would like to thank SANDIYA AND AERION MAN YOU GUYS ROCK...AND especially sandiya who has been a really good friend to me, man i do not know how to thank you for all the shit we've been through lol...mostly i give her the most shit la lol...but honestly tho SANDIYA.....THANKS A LOT REALLY APPRECIATE THE EFFORT...
tommorow will be having a rock climbing activity so hopefully tomorrow will be as awesome as today...

THE ABOVE PICS ARE SELF EXPLANATORY!

don't worry nothing is going to happen for now!

2009-01-08T05:42:00.000-08:00

Yo ppl, please don't be worried about prices of oil going up..yes i know it has stooped lower, but now there are irritable speculators...speculating a hike in oil... we consumers have an effect on the price dude to the laws of supply and demand, just lower your demand of using your car start using public transport, then there will be more ppl pissed off at the government for not providing efficient service, pls don't succumb to the manifestations of the illegal but legal cartel called OPEC, they too will start speculating that they will cut oil supplies and try to increase the price-they probably might do it but here's a thing to consider, with the economic downturn, many people will be losing jobs, therefore not many ppl will be traveling, and therefore less use of petrol consumption-so with low demand, they will most likely cut supplies but it won't really have an adverse effect on the actual price... this is coming from what i have learned in my econs class and from a couple of articles online and in newspapers,haha i'm still an undergraduate so... my words and thoughts could be wrong.. but i'm very sure it is not lol wakakakaka take care folks !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =p

this makes me scared and shameful!

2009-01-03T02:13:00.000-08:00

this can change your life man like seriously!

chained liberations!

2009-01-01T22:56:00.000-08:00

yes i finally did it, i slayed the dragon of emotions, i pierced it through the heart
and therefore it left a scar on me own, all the way down to its roots, which was a half of my own, but of a flower, i cannot shatter, one that is, and one that is in awe of is beauty, a veil that is used not to cover nor to mislead not even confuse but hide the true heart's desires... so that nobody can see the pain i go through everyday, since that day! that dreadful day... a liberation with an unfortunate, hurtful catch, only God knows why! only God Knows why! Only God can see it.

malevolent madness

2008-12-30T21:42:00.000-08:00

how can i love someone who can't love me back?
what are these conniving dark thoughts that flood my already shattered mind?
knees feeling weak,
my heart throbs a sound of a melodious tune,
palms sweaty
this nerve wrenching pain but at the same time sweet,
stuttered words that make no sense
primal behavior that ones true soul can emanate
a sickness that can't desecrate
a fools gold that only a fool would bother finding
words which contradicts ones self and thought and therefore its being
feelings that are not meant to be
want to keep away, want to destroy, yet same time want to nurture
it was the right thing, i know it, i sure of it and don;t doubt it!
I've been killing these emotions
force myself to stop thinking
but the smile that i saw
made a smile come from the gallows of my distorted-ness
the whirlwind that twist my sanity inside out
am i obsessing, am i addicted or am i a perv crazed man destined to ruined my ruined hapless mind
at the same time...
in the same time lapse
i feel fresh, energetic, electrified, my soul want to blurt out a harmonious cry
but then there is a void, much much to deep, only one can fill
or is my heart to shattered to receive any......
how can i want this being
when it doesn't want me
why does my body act differently
when my minds send different signals
why am i feeling this miserable but at the same time enjoying it
am i going insanely mad
what sort of demonic spell work is this?
a far cry of what i used to be
yet why does my head swell when i can only feel this.... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .